Noir Writer

Thinking About the Future

2010-08-30T09:11:00.002-04:00

All writers dream of a point in their careers when they can quit their day jobs and work full-time as a writer, of course this is a rare occurrence. Your odds of this happening to you is most likely worse than hitting the lottery. It makes you wonder why the hell you keep at it. All the work, rejection and self-flaggration for little monetary reward. And, let's admit it, the printed word is not flourishing and the business models of all of the publishing companies suck. Very few people are going to get rich.

But the purpose of this post is not why I continue to write and dream of publishing - the answer to that probably involves questioning my mental well-being and overall intelligence, and let's not go there. No, the reason I'm tap-tap-taping away at the keyboard is to discuss the financial stability of the deranged dreamer - in this case a hopeless writer with delusions of publishing success (hint: that's me). Right now I make shit for money despite the fact that I do have a college degree, actually two, one of those being a Master's. All the newspapers and magazine taut the importance of a college education in expanding your earning ability. That's horseshit, by the way, if you live in a relatively economically depressed area with little job potential, unless you're a social worker.

But, I continue to delude myself, and have decided to do something to make much more money than I do now. In order to spread joy and contentment wherever I go, I've decided to become... a waiter. Oh, wait, that's a Monty Python sketch. No, I've decided to get an MBA. I know, that means more education, which hasn't really done much in terms of filling my bank account, but the earning potential does increase with those three letters after my name - more so than the current MFA does.

What this means is that I will have even less time to write. That dream becomes a bit dimmer, though not completely gone. At this point, it is probably more important that I consider my family's financial well-being rather than fulfilling some notion of publishing notoriety. I guess the good news is that the writing bug will never die, and I do intend on writing - and who knows, having less time may force me to utilize what free time I do have and force me to actually write more. Stranger things have happened, I suppose.

Oh, well.

I'm Tired, But Sleep Just Won't Come

2010-08-12T00:26:00.002-04:00

I've always had trouble sleeping at night. Right now it's close to 12:30 and I've already spent a good 45 minutes just staring into darkness, listening to the fan in the air conditioner. I hear the cat move about, but even he is asleep somewhere now. Probably on my side of the bed.

They say that geniuses sleep only a few hours a night. I guess my MENSA certificate should be here any moment. On the other hand, if the sun were out, I would probably be very drowsy and able to fall asleep sitting at this desk for a number of hours. Daylight makes me tired.

And as I sit here surrounded by a number of six-foot tall bookshelves, each one straining against the weight of hundreds of books; I know that I would not be as well read (or at least as well read as I am, which is better than average, but certainly not as much as some), familiar with as many films or listen to as much music if I weren't the insomniac I am.

Today, some 3,300 hours from The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson was released on the internet. Since I am such a night person, and considering that we didn't have cable growing up, I watched him almost every night, along with Letterman. I miss that show.

Anyway, typing away hasn't done anything to make me think I'm ready for bed. Back to the Accounting textbook for another 20 pages before I try again.

Research. Ugh!

2010-08-06T16:02:00.002-04:00

I like doing research as much as I like shaving. Maybe because I usually do it after the fact. I make up shit and hope like hell the research will back me up - if it doesn't, then, hell, it's called fiction for a reason, right? Recently I have scattered e-mails out to a number of people with some questions, with only one reply. (Thank you, Peregrine.) I feel like a beggar asking for a dollar.

I think one of the things I hate about asking people questions is that I can't point to a novel as proof that I'm actual writer. Sure, you can find the anthologies I'm in, but my name on the cover is usually spelled, "And Others." There are e-zines, but who wants to take the time to explain what that is and where one can find them? I can also say I have an MFA (and I have), but big fucking deal, right?

Oh, well.

Maybe I Should Write Something

2010-07-30T10:13:00.002-04:00

Testing? Is this thing still on? OK, so other things have taken precedent over blogging. To my readers, I have to say, "sorry, you two." If they are both still paying attention.

Obligations. It's hard to sit down and write. Really hard. I sometime go weeks between writing something, but it doesn't mean it is out of mind. Stories still occupy my time. I think about characters all the time, go over plots, wonder about the best prose my limited mind can muster. One thing that comforts me (haunts me) is that I will never stop thinking about writing. And just because I haven't posted here in some time doesn't mean I've stopped writing all together. I just sent out a few short stories and working on the final research for the book, which is close to done. I'm confident that it will be finished before George R.R. Martin finish his latest work - oh, why has he abandoned us?

So, as I come out of my novel writing trance - it has occupied most of my time and should be blamed for the lack of published short stories and blogging, etc. - I have decided to post here more regularly, if only to get my writing juices going. What an expression. Anyone else have writing juice out there? Is that the juice we squeeze from writers?

My Own Top Ten Greatest Working Directors

2010-04-19T01:54:00.003-04:00

So, after picking apart EW's rankings, I suppose I should make my own list. Here it is:

#10. Paul Thomas Anderson

#9. Steven Soderberg

#8. Quentin Tarantino

#7 Michael Mann

#6. Zhang Yimou

#5. David Cronenberg

#4. Wes Anderson

#3. Joel and Ethan Coen

#2. Clint Eastwood

#1. Martin Scorsese

Entertainment Weekly's Top 50 Working Directors, part 2

2010-04-18T12:11:00.008-04:00

Yeah, I'm really bad at posting to this thing. But since the last post was a commentary on the first half of EW's list of top directors, which at the time stopped at #26, I thought I would at least finish what I started. Plus, I need some distance away from the current completed (at least the first draft) short story, so what better way to technically write and waste time? So, here is the top 25, according to Entertainment Weekly.

#25 Lee Daniels

Really? Sure, Precious was well done, but it wasn't so great that it would push Daniels onto this list, let alone positioning him so high. Terrible choice.

#24 Michael Mann

Now this is more like it. Hidden at the center of every one of his films is the question of what it is to be a man. Most of his characters are men of action who struggle with that central question, and Mann communicates that with some of the most complex (and contradictory, considering how explosive his films are) subtleties on film. You can see these characters thinking. Plus, Mann is a master of mixing images and music.

#23 Ang Lee

Is it possible to be an underrated Oscar winner? If so, then that's what Lee is. Even though he won a well deserved statue for Brokeback Mountain (a tragic Oscar loser, considering how beautiful, haunting and simply fantastic it was), I don't think he receives enough praise. The Ice Storm is one of the best movies out of the 1990s and his version of a comic book movie, Hulk, was a marvelous art house experiment targeted at the wrong audience.

#22 Wes Anderson

A true auteur in an age of Brett Ratner and McG, Anderson should not exist as a filmmaker, but thank Christ he does. His movies are like the best idea of a New Yorker story come to life - but more entertaining. His slyly humorous movies rewards the intelligent moviegoer rather than bashing him or her over the head with a lot of bullshit. Even his mildly disappointing The Darjeeling Limited was still pretty good.

#21 Brad Bird

I have no argument against Bird being this far up on the list. All three of his films are terrific. His ranking is probably the biggest "Oh, yeah" here.

#20 Ridley Scott

Scott's work can be hit or miss, but at least it is always worth seeing. When he's good, he is very very good, but when he misses the mark, he can be so disappointingly ordinary. Alien and Blade Runner = amazing; G.I. Jane and White Squall= meh. Too bad his brother Tony doesn't get the same accolades.

#19 Danny Boyle

He's here because of Slumdog Millionaire. Don't get me wrong, Trainspotting and Shallow Grave are evidence enough of Boyle's talents to justify his ranking, but writers of such lists have such short memory spans that you wonder about their sincerity. Look at Lee Daniels above.

#18 Spike Jonze

Jonze's movies require a certain amount of juvenile attitude and intelligence from its audiences in order to work. If you are too uptight, don't bother; if your level of sophistication stops at fart jokes and Ernest films, same thing, don't bother. Where the Wilds Things Are is probably the most genuine and truthful film about being an eleven-year-old boy ever seen. That movie could have been a disaster with someone who doesn't have Jonze's sensibilities.

#17 Jason Reitman

Three pretty good movies is not three great movies. Reitman is entertaining, and touches on human emotions seldom seen in movies today, but he can slide toward the cliched too often. He's Alexander Payne lite. Payne, now there's someone who belongs here.

#16 Steven Soderbergh

Here is someone who understands film. Not so pretentious as to take himself too seriously, but also able to make some gut wrenching pictures. Soderbergh is a man born three decades too late (you want 1970s filmmaking today, here you go), but there is a modern sensibility to everything he does. Capable of high concept movies (Oceans 11, and so on and so on...), but also some interesting experimental films (Bubble, The Girlfriend Experience), Soderbergh is probably the most versatile filmmaker here.

#15 Guillermo del Toro

Ah, some geek love. Sure, Pan's Labyrinth was a critic's darling, as it should have been, but del Toro has done some absolutely great work with genre films as to force some people to realize that these movies can offer fantastic work. Concerned that the upcoming film of The Hobbit won't be any good without Peter Jackson? Don't worry, if there was one person who possess the same capacity for filming epic fantasy, it is del Toro.

#14 Paul Thomas Anderson

Yes! Hard Eight, Boogie Nights, Magnolia,Punch Drunk Love, There Will Be Blood. Yes!

#13 David Fincher

After Alien 3, most people would think you were mental if you said Fincher would become one of the best directors of the last 15 years. But once people saw Seven, they forgot all about his past transgression. Fincher's career is just solid, plus he made one of the greatest films ever: Fight Club.

#12 Tim Burton

Overrated alert! Yes, Burton makes interesting films, but memorable? Not really. Everything he does is just a derivative of Beetlejuice. Tim Burton is to great filmmaking as the mall store Hot Topic is to edgy.

#11 Clint Eastwood

He doesn't even crack the top ten? Who's the fucking moron who wrote this? The man just delivers time and time again. Sure he has had some lesser films, but consider the last twenty years: 17 films, at least ten of them could be considered masterpieces; not just good or great, fucking masterpieces. This man has a legitimate claim to be at the top of this list and unlike some of his fellow contenders, he just gets better and better.

#10 Hayao Miyazaki

If you have never seen a Miyazaki movie, and chances are you haven't, then go out and see Spirited Away, which captures everything this animator does well. He is called the Japanese Walt Disney? Please, don't insult the man. His work is much more complicated than anything Disney would have conceived.

#9 Pedro Almodovar

To tell you the truth, I'm not so familiar with Almodovar's work as to have a legitimate opinion here. What I've seen has been terrific, but out of the director's over 20 films, I've only seen three. Bad, cinephile, bad! OK, a visit to Netflix after this.

#8 Joel and Ethan Coen

A Coen brother's movie is always something to celebrate, even their sort of Coen Brother-Lite A Serious Man. If you love film, but can't appreciate Joel and Ethan Coen, then there is something wrong with you. You never know what movie to expect from the brothers, but you can always count on it being mischievous and darkly humorous.

#7 Peter Jackson

Yes, he pulled off a miracle in bringing The Lord of the Rings trilogy to the screen, well, not just bringing it to the screen, but actually making the series awesome and obtaining some serious Oscar gold. But people tend to forget that his Heavenly Creatures was sublime and that his fun movies like Dead Alive and Meet the Feebles were such campy pleasures. And he didn't get enough respect for his remake of King King.

#6 Quentin Tarantino

You have to think that Tarantino is 1950's Cahier du Cinema writing staff's wet dream. An American filmmaker with a European sensibility, but also mix in a healthy appreciation of exploitation and pulp. Inglourious Basterds is arguably Tarantino's masterpiece.

#5 Steven Spielberg

Is Spielberg a great director? Yes. Is his career losing steam? Unfortunately. Watching the last Indiana Jones movie was like watching one of the last movies of the studio era. The storytelling was stiff, the action was never exciting and, worst of all, the directing was stale. It was a movie made by someone who was bored with the entire process. Is Spielberg past his prime? I hope not.

#4 Kathryn Bigelow

Another case of list writers' short term memory. The last one to win an Oscar must be in the top five, right? Whatever. Yes, Bigelow is great, but she has gone from depressingly underrated to instantly the fourth greatest director alive today? I'm not so sure about that. I'd put her in the top 20, and not just for The Hurt Locker. See Strange Days if you haven't already.

#3 James Cameron

He makes great movies. He makes a shitload of money, but is that enough for the number 3 spot? I'll grant you the top 15, maybe even top 10, but not 3.

#2 Martin Scorsese

Probably Eastwood's only competition for the legitimate title of greatest living director. A true master of the art.

#1 Christopher Nolan

Huh? OK, he has made some terrific movies, including the near perfect The Dark Knight, but number 1? I think Nolan is talented and may very well be on his way to the top of his profession, but he has a lot more to prove before some idiot writers crown him the best of the best.

Uh, excuse me, EW, but where the fuck is Gus Van Sant or Zhang Yimou? Who the fuck put this thing together anyway?

Entertainment Weekly's Top 50 Working Directors

2010-02-23T12:11:00.002-05:00

Obviously I don't want to spend my lunch hour doing rewrites, so I've found a distraction: picking apart EW's List of the 50 Greatest Working Directors, of which they have only released their first 25. So here goes:

#50 Nancy Meyers

One of the most successful female directors? Check. One of the most innovative directors? I don't think so. It's Complicated and The Holiday were entertaining, but ultimately forgettable movies with a James L. Brooks fetish.

#49 Michael Moore

As a muckraking showman with a message, there's no one better. Unapologetic regarding his politics and wickedly ruthless against his enemies. Great documentarian, but as a fictional film director? Canadian Bacon. Do I need to say anything more?

#48 David Lynch

Highly originally and often hauntingly creepy, Lynch's films are like nothing else you're apt to see at the theater. Mulholland Dr., his trippy journey through the dream world, is his best, but check out the under appreciated Lost Highway and, of course, Blue Velvet, but you should have seen that by now. If you haven't, then shame on you.

#47 Andrew Stanton

Even though I've seen Finding Nemo so many times (easily 300 times;easily!), that it's burned into my brain for all of eternity, it's still a great movie. And WALL-E is just as terrific. Yes, better than Up.

#46 Wong Kar-Wai

He belongs so much closer to number one. Chungking Express? In the Mood for Love? Argument over.

#45 Mira Nair

Yes, Monsoon Wedding was wonderful and Mississippi Masala is a nice gem of a movie, but Nair can be very hit or miss.

#44 Mel Gibson

Drunken, anti-semitic asshole? Probably. One of the best directors of the past fifteen years? Absolutely.

#43 Spike Lee

Why doesn't Spike have a fucking Oscar already? It's because the man is keeping him down. Hey, makes about as much sense as anything else. Do the Right Thing is as great of a piece of American culture as Norman Rockwell or Aaron Copeland - only don't expect Spike to sweep the truth under the rug when he depicts American life.

#42 Richard Linklater

I'm on the fence about Linklater. He can be amazing (Dazed and Confused) or just plain pretentious (Walking Life).

#41 Roman Polanski

Rapist? You betcha! An amazing artist who continually proves what cinema is capable of? Unfortunately... because he's a rapist.

#40 Oliver Stone

Platoon, JFK, The Doors, Natural Born Killers. But what has he done for us lately? World Trade Center? W? Here's hoping Wall Street 2 is half as good as the original.

#39 Judd Apatow

Reviewing the best of the decade lists in the recent issues of Film Comment, Apatow is the Hitchcock of comedy - a popular America who's finding respect as a true auteur in European circles. With the exception of Funny People, which was an hour too long (an hour!), Apatow is possibly the greatest comedic director out there.

#38 Jon Favreau

Iron Man was awesome, but does Favreau deserve to be here? No.

#37 Mike Leigh

Ah, some indie love. Leigh's films require a certain attention from their audiences, but once you are sucked into them, you can't help but fall under their spell. Definitely deserves a spot here.

#36 Bryan SInger

The man did usher in the modern, realistic comic book movie with X-Men and X-Men 2, but he isn't always consistent.

#35 David Cronenberg

Christ, this guy belongs in the top 5, what the fuck is he doing at 35?

#34 J.J. Abrams

Huh? He's directed two movies: the entertaining Star Trek and the abysmal Mission Impossible III. Sorry, does not belong in the top 100, let alone ranked higher than Cronenberg and Spike Lee.

#33 Ron Howard

Overrated, but dependable.

#32 Sam Raimi

Always entertaining, but I think few people realize how much of a talent he really can be. A Simple Plan was a dark masterpiece that few people saw.

#31 Sam Mendes

Most people will name American Beauty when they talk about Mendes, but for me, The Road to Perdition was so much better. Revolutionary Road was an interesting mess that probably shouldn't have been adapted.

#30 Sofia Coppola

The good: The Virgin Suicides. The great: Lost in Translation. The utterly god awful: Marie Antoinette. She might be in the top 75.

#29 Woody Allen

Well, duh.

#28 Paul Greengrass

It may be easy to dismiss Greengrass as the guy who did a great job with the Bourne sequels, but United 93 proved that he is a filmmaker of the highest quality.

#27 Alfonso Cuaron

He made the best Harry Potter movie, but his adaptation of Children of Men shows he belongs here. Also, see his very intimate y tu mama tambie

#26 Darren Aronofsky

Wonderfully weird at times, wonderfully intimate at times. Requiem for a Dream was both. He's probably here because of The Wrestler, but his work before that film should have still earned him a spot here. Now give me the long promised Aronofsky Robocop already!

That's all they've released so far. Some I hope show up in the final 25: Spike Jonze; Michael Mann; Lars von Trier; Zhang Yimou; Martin Scorsese; Brian De Palma (fat chance); Joel and Ethan Coen; Soderberg; Tarantino; Miyazaki; Clint Eastwood; Michael Winterbottom (double fat chance); Paul Thomas Anderson; Alex Payne; Wes Anderson; David Fincer; Gus Van Sant; Ridley Scott (Is it too much to hope for Tony Scott as well?); Kathryn Bigelow.

Violence

2010-02-04T10:10:00.008-05:00

This is a subject I've wanted to talk about for some time now. What purpose does violence have in the creation of art? I write crime fiction, so it is inevitable violence will show up at some point, whether it's a push, punch, insult, emotional abuse or gunshot. Do I write this because it's entertaining to read about or is there a seriousness to it? Well, really it's both. I've written some little doodads that aren't meant to be anything more than funny, weird and perhaps a little disturbing; but more than anything, they are meant to entertain. There is little seriousness in their violence, and what seriousness there is, it is meant more as irony.

One of the things I need to do is differentiate about the types of violence in art. One is meant, for the most part, to be entertainment (The Three Stooges, Shoot 'Em Up, King Suckerman, The Devil's Rejects) while the other is meant to disturb, to create a strong emotional response of disgust (Bastard Out of Carolina, The Lovely Bones, Precious, The Accused). [An interesting observation in those examples is that the "entertaining" violence is mostly committed on men, whereas as the disturbing violence is against women. I have no idea what that means, but I'm sure someone could establish a theory.]

Why is violence entertaining? I truly think that humans are fascinated by destruction, whether it is the thrill of a controlled explosion of an abandoned building, the scandalous ruin of a famous personality or the damage a major weather event leaves in its wake. It gets our attention. Remember back in school when the rumor of an after hours fight was going to take place at a certain place at a certain time - how many people showed up? And why do you know that number? Because you showed up, that's why. Are we a violent society? Duh.

I won't sit here an lie to you. I found Hostel shockingly amusing. I like the over-the-top action of Rambo where he'll pick up some heavy artillery weapon and proceed to obliviate some poor henchman who's probably making minimum wage. There is a part of me that romanticizes and understands the power of violence in Fight Club, as does most of the guys of my generation. Maybe these displays of extreme aggression appeal to some animal instinct of brutality that we no longer (or at least the majority of society) use.

What about more realistic violence, the type that has lasting effects on characters? Let's look at The Lovely Bones, both the novel and the movie. The main character, Susie Salmon, is brutally raped and murdered at the beginning of the story. It's horrible and tough to read about - this is not meant to be sensational or "entertaining" (a term that needs further definition), there is no exploitative motive here. But is it important to the book? Absolutely. One of the major criticisms of the film adaptation is that Peter Jackson sort of skips that part. One minute she's alive and after a simple edit she's in her own private heaven. The most devastating moments of Salmon's mortal existence occur off stage, and the sexual assault isn't even mentioned. I can understand Jackson's reluctance to include such a horrific scene, this is nothing like his masterpiece of gore, Dead Alive, but it is an injustice to the seriousness of the crimes. Would The Accused have been as effective without the bar scene? No, and it would only diminish the important message of the film.

The above is an example of using violence to further the understanding of human behavior, even the most disturbing of behavior, because without it we are in danger of dismissing it as the actions of monsters, which is much easier to ignore than confronting it as a regularly reoccurring phenomenon perpetrated by regular (sort of) people.

Do the two types of violence ever collide? Not really. Can there be entertaining books with disturbing violence? Yes.[Can you have a serious book with entertaining violence? If it's satire (Dr. Strangelove, then yes.] OK, lets take this moment to further define entertainment. I'm not talking about simple, amusing entertainments that cause giggles; I'm talking more about art that engages its audience. The Lovely Bones is a type of entertainment, as is The Postman Always Rings Twice or They Shoot Horses, Don't They?. The last two examples are pretty depressing, while, ironically, Alice Sebold's novel is sort of hopeful at the end; but people continue to read these types of novels because they enjoy them on some level. Hell, look at just about any piece of noir fiction out there; there aren't a lot of happy-go-lucky stories. The work of Ken Bruen? No. Jim Thompson? No. David Goodis? Fuck no. But they all have plenty of fans.

Now on a personal level, I've been reluctant to write anything new with violence in it due to something that happened to a friend of mine. It has taken a long time to come to terms with what I write in contrast to what destruction really occurs with similar acts in the real world. I've mainly worked on revisions on writing I did previous to this, and while there are violent passages, it was nothing I have created in quite some time and I didn't tackle those scenes until late in the current revision period. I also had a conversation with another friend regarding the lasting effects of violence in domestic situations and she was reluctant to give up anything to use as research unless she knew the story would have some sort of justice at the end and not be exploitive. I think she believed me when I said it wasn't exploitive. But it did caused me to think about the use of violence in fiction again.

I will tell you the most exploitive, disgusting, sickening absolutely reprehensible use of violence to tantalize I've ever seen was an episode of the Sally Jesse Rapheal Show in which she had a 911 operator on who took a call from a woman who was killed. The host kept at this poor operator, bringing the case up again and again and again, finally playing the fucking audio of the 911 call in which you heard the woman's plea for help, the door or window being kicked open and her screams as she was attacked. This was a daytime television show, on in the afternoon, after most kids were home from school; it wasn't rated and was easily accessible. I will never forget that, and it aired about 15 years ago. So, I totally understand someone's reluctance to the depiction of violence when there are people out there who would use such horrors for nothing more than audience ratings. That, to me, is disgusting.

As an artist (I know, it is pretty pretentious to call one's self an artist), what responsibilities do I have? Do I ignore violence, which would pretty much finish my career as a crime writer; or do I make it as realistic as possible (without exploiting it) to shine further light on the dark side of the human condition, which is really the ultimate goal of the noir genre, is it not? Well, I haven't taken this blog down, even though I've ignored it for some time, and I'm still (STILL!!!!!!) in the middle of revisions, so I guess I know the answer to that question.

The Best Movies of the Last Decade

2010-01-04T10:14:00.003-05:00

OK, so I didn't keep up with this as much as I would have liked. Oh well. So, in order to finish this, I thought I would just list the top 20 without any commentary. Here goes.

20. Death to Smoochy
19. Amelie
18. Brick
17. King Kong
16. Casino Royale
15. Miami Vice
14. American Psycho
13. Grindhouse
12. Once
11. Sexy Beast
10. Gone Baby Gone
9. Finding Nemo
8. In Bruges
7. The Departed
6. The Royal Tenenbaums
5. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
4. Lord of the Rings
3. There Will Be Blood
2. The Dark Knight
1. In the Bedroom

Best of the Decade: #20: Death to Smoochy

2009-12-08T15:58:00.002-05:00

#20

Death to Smoochy

This has to be one of the most criminally under appreciated movies of the last decade. Roger Ebert actually chose this as the worst movie of 2002, but he was so wrong. Death to Smoochy is a work of dark comic genius. Its comedy is so black that it's practically purple. I loved this movie before I had kids, and after, when I was forced to watch some of the most god awful shit they call kids television shows, I came to appreciate this film even more. There's a bit of parental revenge in watching a movie that runs children television stereotypes through the gutter. Watch out, there are very few sympathetic characters here.

My favorite quote: "Sorry I smell like piss, but you know how it is."

Best of the Decade: #21: Mystic River

2009-12-08T15:29:00.003-05:00

#21

Mystic River

To give you an idea of the impact this film has had, I'll outline a familiar conversation I've had with a lot of people. It goes like this:

"You went to grad school for writing?"
"Yeah."
"Any famous instructors?"
"Dennis Lehane."
"Don't know him. What'd he write?"
"Mystic River."
"The Clint Eastwood movie? That was a great movie."

Or that may be a reflection on how poorly read most people are, even if they say they love to read mysteries. Anyway, Eastwood took a dark novel (not to mention fantastic) and turned it into a moody, Shakespearean tragedy (the Lady Macbeth similarities are intentional) that earned Sean Penn his first Oscar. But as good as Penn is, Tim Robbins is brilliant. Penn had the showier role, but Robbins's portrayal required a lot more skill to pull off successfully.

Another observation of American filmmaking over the past decade: Eastwood with his many critically successful films (Letters from Iwo Jima, Changeling, Million Dollar Baby, etc.) has become arguably the best film director during these ten years, equal only to Scorsese and Van Sant.

Best of the Decade: #22: Changing Lanes

2009-12-07T15:44:00.003-05:00

#22

Changing Lanes

The studio wanted you think this was some revenge thriller in the same vein as Double Jeopardy or some other piece of shit. It's not, it is something much more gripping than a superficial concept. Instead this film is about two men who struggle with what is right and how to treat another human being. Its story seems simple. Ben Affleck and Sam Jackson get into a fender bender and spend the rest of the film getting back at one another. Hell, it sounds like the premise of some wacky comedy instead of a deeply intellectual film about morals and ethics. Neither character is deliberately malicious, though their anger gets the better of them at crucial times. They both feel remorse after the fact, but their conflict escalates. Affleck and Jackson show off their best work here.

Screenwriter Michael Tolkin is no stranger to dark films about the human condition. Though it has its faults, check out his The Rapture, which he also directed.

Best of the Decade: #23: Zoolander

2009-12-07T10:57:00.002-05:00

#23

Zoolander

Oh, how many of these types of lists fail to mention the stupid? Sure, you have your Schindler's Lists and Raging Bulls, but what about the movies that make you laugh because they are so ridiculous? To rectify this injustice, I give you Zoolander; a movie so idiotic that it borders on genius.

Best of the Aughts: #24 Road to Perdition

2009-12-04T10:58:00.002-05:00

#24

Road to Perdition

The role of Michael Sullivan is not your typical Tom Hanks nice guy. He's a mob enforcer working for crime boss Paul Newman; but he's not malicious about it. He's almost a sympathetic mobster (probably the one sort of false note in the whole picture). Sullivan only kills when he's backed into a corner, such as when his boss's son (Daniel Craig) tries to execute Sullivan's entire family - Craig only succeeds in killing the wife and youngest son. In order to protect his oldest son, Sullivan flees from Newman's forces and seeks revenge on the mob family that betrayed him.

This film goes beyond a typical revenge tale. Director Sam Mendes, while proving himself quite capable of handling the actions scenes throughout, focuses more on the mood of the Depression Era Midwest and how those surroundings (and the circumstances that each character finds him or herself in) affects each role. This is a showcase of excellent acting from not only Hanks, but from Newman, Craig (in a role that offered a bit of a glimpse into his ability to take on a whole new Bond a few years later) and Jude Law.

A special mention should go to legendary cinematographer Conrad L. Hall, who pulled off a gorgeous looking film. Sadly, it was his last film. He was awarded an Oscar posthumously for his work.

Best of the Aughts: #25 Wonder Boys

2009-12-03T15:49:00.003-05:00

#25

Wonder Boys

Michael Douglas plays Grady Tripp, a writing professor who suffers under the shadow of early success and fame from his first novel. In the years since he was the wonder boy of the literary world, he has unwittingly embraced his failure to live up to the astronomical expectations everyone had (and still has) for him. Rather than finish his second novel, he continues to write it, reaching close to 3,000 single-spaced pages before a pivotal scene in the film where it all blows away into the Ohio River - an image more frightening than a 1000 horror films to any writer. His current wife leaves him, his mistress (also his boss's wife) tells him she's pregnant, his editor (Robert Downey, Jr.) comes to snoop on his progress on the book and a slightly strange wunderkind student (Tobey McGuire) causes him an incredible amount of grief.

To label Douglas a boy is a bit of a stretch, even if you consider that his first book was published 7 years prior to the beginning of the movie; it would put him just north of middle age when success hit. The character in the book by Michael Chabon was much younger. But once you get over that obstacle (at least Frances McDormand, who plays his mistress, is more age appropriate than most movie girlfriends); the movie unfolds into a fascinating character study that hinges on Douglas being at his best, which he is.

Also, where else will you get to see Spider-Man and Iron Man hook up?

There Are Just So Many to Choose From: More Best of the Decade

2009-11-29T23:14:00.004-05:00

If I had made a Best of the 1990's list, there would be a hell of a lot more independent and foreign films than I have for the current decade that's fading away. I saw everything that came out; going to the movie theater at least twice a week. Now, I barely go once a month, and then it's to see something like Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (don't be disappointed, but it isn't on the list). Looking over the list I have compiled, there aren't as many indies and very few foreign films. Sorry about that.

But to get to the top 25 quicker, let's list the rest of the runners-up.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barbar of Fleet Street

Ghost World

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Adaptation

Dancer in the Dark

Billy Eliot

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Juno

Unbreakable

The Mist

Narc

Insomnia

Little Children

Spider

Titus

Wall-E

Chicago

Million Dollar Baby

A History of Violence

Iron Man

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Paranoid Park

While Gus Van Sant's Elephant won the Palme d'Or at Cannes, I think this film is better. This story of a teenage skateboarder who commits manslaughter is absolutely mesmerizing to watch. With films like this and the riveting Milk, Van Sant has transcended from mere film director into a true artist.

Superbad

Batman Begins

Children of Men

Mulholland Drive

The Tao of Steve

A movie that theorizes that all guys named Steve are awesome. I can't understand why I would want to include it here.

Serenity

The Hangover

Hostel

Evoution

Oh, so greatly under appreciated. Though it lacks the unique magic of Ivan Reitman's earlier movie Ghostbusters, which it closely resembles, Evolution is none the less a really fun movie to watch.

Spirited Away

Super Troopers

High Fidelity

Donnie Darkko

No Country for Old Men

Stranger Than Fiction

Monsters, Inc.

Milk

A.I. Artificial Intelligence

Bowling for Columbine

Requiem for a Dream

In the Loop

American Gangster

V for Vendetta

The Descent

Gladiator

Momento

Lost in Translation

Pan's Labyrinth

Ratatouille

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Observe and Report

The Bourne Trilogy (The Bourne Identity; The Bourne Supremacy; The Bourne Ultimatum)

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Fahrenheit 9/11

Taken

The Incredibles

Traffic

X-Men/X-Men 2

But avoid Brett Ratner's dog turd of a sequel, X-Men: The Last Stand.

Star Trek

Training Day

Collateral

Best in Show

Shrek

Cache

What Planet Are You From?

Cast Away

The Contender

Infamous

As good as Bennett Miller's Capote was, Douglas McGrath's take on Truman Capote's efforts to write In Cold Blood was actually better. Philip Seymour Hoffman took home an Oscar, but Toby Jones was born to play the role. If this film had made it to theaters first, Hoffman would probably still be waiting for an Oscar.

The Perfect Storm

Kill Bill, Vol. 1 & 2

More Runners-up, Best of the Decade

2009-11-20T09:45:00.002-05:00

The continuing the list of great movies of the decade, but didn't make the top 25:

The Others

Punch Drunk Love

Spider-Man/Spider-Man 2

It's hard to put the superior Spider-Man 2 on the list and not include the first. It's like Godfather part II without the original. Instead of coasting on the success of Spider-Man, the second movie expanded on the mythology and added further complexity to the characters. The third film tried to do the same, and who knows, without the emo Peter Parker it may have fared better, but ultimately, it suffers in part 2's shadow. One complaint: Did we really need a shirtless Alfred Molina?

Requiem for a Dream

The Queen

Sideways

Across the Universe

Anyone who has watched any of director Julie Taymor's other films (Titus, Frida) knows the woman is a true cinematic visionary, and this movie further proves that genius. What superficially looks like a weak premise (stringing together a movie based on Beatle's songs), proves to be a wonderful experience of fantastic visuals, great music and heartwarming storytelling.

Michael Clayton

A Prairie Home Companion

Fight Club*

*originally released in October of 1999. OK, not technically a movie from this decade, but the film missed the mark by 2 1/2 months and has become such a phenomenon that it deserves a place somewhere. (My fairness trigger wouldn't allow me to place this in the top 25 - it would have been closer to top 5, but I feel comfortable with it listed here). This film is not only a kick ass movie, it has become a modern male anthem about apathy, internal disappointment and searching for meaning. This is a case of the perfect director with the perfect material aided by the perfect cast. David Fincher's masterpiece is a lot more playful than Chuck Palahniuk's novel, but doesn't lose any of the edginess of the original story. I'll admit, I wasn't really blown away by the movie when I saw it in the theater, and looking at the box office, no one else was either, but the more times I watched it, the better it became. I've probably seen this movie about 30 times over the past ten years, probably more than any other film on this list.

Best of the Aughts: More Runners-up

2009-11-19T09:13:00.003-05:00

Some more runners-up of the best movies of the decade as decided by me, because this is my blog. Again, no particular order:

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai

The Constant Gardner

Bad Santa

Brokeback Mountain

This one nearly made the top 25. Ang Lee's heartbreaking film about a love affair in an environment of intolerance and ignorance should have won Oscars for Best Picture and for Heath Ledger's powerful performance. Instead, the homophobic yet, self-proclaimed, self-congratulatory "liberal" Academy voters, most of whom are well past the age of ancient, chose that shit bird movie of pretension, Crash. One of the biggest blunders in Oscar history.

U-571

300

8 Mile

Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

In what could have been just another dimwitted stoner movie, Harold and Kumar actually did something quite admirable: it showed that minorities in movies don't have to be staid stereotypes required to represent their race; rather they could be your average, everyday schlubs who just want to get toasted and chow down on some tasty sliders like everyone else. The sequel, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay went even further by tackling racial stereotypes and American attitudes toward, well, just about every minority, but the simpler premise of the original was subversive enough to promote diversity without making people think that's what it was doing.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Swimming Pool

The Best Movies of the Last Decade

2009-11-18T15:51:00.002-05:00

American Film, a great magazine I wish was still around, surveyed a number of critics in 1989 to establish a Best Films of the 1980s list. This list was very influential to me as my understanding of the art of cinema was still forming. I was branching away from the mainstream and finding enjoyment from films off the beaten path. Movies that weren't shown anywhere near where I live (and still aren't), but thanks to the family VCR and magazines like American Film, Premiere and Film Comment; I was able to establish a great understanding of film - it was an obsession.

Anyway, I thought I would post a list of the best movies I've seen over the past ten years as a sort of homage to that American Film list. Now, I haven't seen as many movies as I once did. This list won't have as many smaller, lesser known movies as a list concocted of the films of the 1990s, but I think there are some really special ones here. I'll list some of the runner-ups over the next couple of days and post individual comments on each of my top 25 films. Hopefully one a day (or so) until the end of the year.

Here are a few to get started. These are in no particular order:

United 93
The Whole Nine Yards
The Wrestler
Shaun of the Dead
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Whale Rider
The Machinist
Gosford Park
Ali
Igby Goes Down

I Swear I've Been Busy

2009-11-18T15:38:00.002-05:00

My God, it's been over 5 months since I posted on this thing! OK, I have been busy writing, not every day, or even every week, but it has been constant. And the writing hasn't focused on short stories, hence the reason for the lack of published stuff out there recently. No, I've focused on the two books (I know, I know, work on one at a time, but I'm a rebel). The good news is that I'm getting close to the finish of one, but the sacrifice has been blogging and keeping up with other blogs. It was either that or completely ignoring the entire family; that wouldn't have been too bright. So, in order to get back into this thing, I'll try to post a few things over the next month and a half; but it's not going to focus on writing - for the moment. From now until the end of the year, I'm going to list my best movies of the decade. I hope you'll enjoy it.

End of Acts

2009-06-08T11:19:00.003-04:00

I'm one of those writers who thinks in the three act structure. I could never write some sprawling Russian novel with 500 characters - not going to happen. Maybe I'm limiting myself or it's an artistic wall I'm not talented enough to overcome, or I'm just too artistically lazy to want to overcome. I think it's a direct result of coming to writing through movies. I had a writing teacher once say that movies are a great short cut when discussing craft, which I agree with. I learned story structure through movies, most all of which follow the three act set up. The best example: Witness. I've seen thousands and thousands of movies, some more than 20 times, so I've been conditioned. I'm like one of Pavlov's dogs, the one who drools at the sight of a Blockbuster.

I have Syd Field to thank for this. The first book of craft I read was his Screenplay. I bought it when I was a freshman in high school. I highlighted it, took notes, etc. I learned the insides and outs of everything he wrote about. So, I'm a slave to his paradigm. If you are not familiar with this, Field has deconstructed just about every film within a certain structure: Act 1, Plot Point 1, Act 2, Plot Point 2, Act 3. That's a pretty simplified breakdown, but you get the idea. This is how I think when I think about plot. For close to 20 years (funny to think about, but it's true) this is how I've visualized story structure.

So, on to my point. The ends of acts suck. Do you know why? Because you have to begin again. You've gone through an entire act. Everything you've put down on paper (or on the blank screen) to this point is for the payoff at the end of the act. And BAM! You hit that plot point and the story is shooting off into another direction. It feels good for a moment. You can look behind you and see where you've come. You tend to celebrate the milestone. Great job, Steve! Then reality sets in. Not only are you not finished, but you have to start a new act. The momentum you felt push you towards that major plot point isn't behind you anymore. You have to find some new force to guide you through. That means another beginning. It's like page one all over again.

OK, you have your characters and you have the MacGuffin, but things cannot remain the way they are. You must manipulate the characters, throw up some twists and turns and pick up the pace. In some cases, the end of an act is a climax in itself - and that is where I am now. The characters I've started to develop need to react differently, but not out of character. New obstacles arrive and disrupt their normal existence. They will not go about their day as if nothing has occurred. How boring would that be? How much of a talentless hack would I be if I let that happen?

So, I'm at the end of an act and I'm not looking forward to pushing the story up another hill. I know that once I've reached this next peak, the momentum will carry me - but I'm a writer in the middle of writing, rational thought doesn't get through this thick skull.

OK, back at it. One foot in front of the other... I think I can...I think I can...I think I can...

Continuing On and the Lottery

2009-05-29T13:29:00.002-04:00

So, I've slowly gotten back into the writing habit. So far it has been a few pages here and there, but it has been productive. I wrote an entire chapter, realized that the emotions of the characters should have been switched and need to rewrite it with opposing viewpoints. It's an interesting way to examine characters - how would they act differently if their attitudes and thoughts were opposite of what they would normally be? Well, the answer is that they wouldn't be the same characters. You'd might as well slap different names on them. Man, I wish I could just wake up and have this thing finished.

And speaking of the easy way out, now that I'm a homeowner, scratch that, a mortgage owner, I've come to believe in the healing powers of the Powerball. Over the past few weeks I have worshipped the Powerball at the local convenience store. I've even sprung for the powerplay for a buck more. With each easy pick, I plead with the lottery powers that be to help shed my massive debt. It seems like prayer is the best avenue for someone whose debt has gone from three figures to six in the past five weeks.

Where to Begin Again

2009-05-10T16:46:00.002-04:00

So, the writing pace has slowed quite a bit over the past six months, By slow, I mean just about stopped. I did finish a short story over that period, but that's about it. There have a been a few notes written down in various places and a couple of sentences typed out now and again, but for the most part my energies have been focused elsewhere; mainly, in buying a house. But now that it's been over two weeks since the closing and most of our boxes have been unpacked, I'm ready to start writing again. The trouble is where do I begin?

Writers Wanted

2009-05-01T08:49:00.003-04:00

Calling all writers, there is a new program that needs you. The Society for the Advancement of Young Writers is looking for volunteers to help young writers in the school systems throughout the United States.

It's mission statement:

The Society for the Advancement of Young Writers (SAYW) is devoted to the inspiration and education of young students in the craft of creative writing.

The website basically houses a database of writers available to teachers and school administrators in their communities. Please, check out the site and seriously consider joining.

From the website:

If you are an author that would like to participate in your local schools’ creative writing efforts, please send an e-mail to: saywmember@kidlitszine.com. In the body of the e-mail please provide an e-mail address where you can be reached by schools and the geographical region in which you’d be willing to help. Please also state if you require a fee (usually small covering enough for lunch and gas) or if you would do an engagement for free. Last, please indicate in which genre you work.

In addition to the writers database, the program also developed a webzine for young writers called Kidlits.

But What of the Guys?

2009-04-30T09:26:00.003-04:00

So, I was in Target the other day getting stuff for the new house (the reason I have been away from the blog for a couple of months) and I happened to wander from the hardware aisle down to the movies and books section as I am known to do. I usually browse quickly through the titles, imagining a DVD collection to rival the local Blockbuster or a library with a need of its own librarian. As I looked through the books I began to notice that these aren't meant for male readers. Now I'm not above reading The Bell Jar or The Dogs of Babel (a book, that if you have not read it, you must do everything in your power to go get); but these books are not targeted toward guys. If given the option of reading The Time Traveler's Wife and watching Kelly's Heroes, the typical dude is going to cozy up with Clint Eastwood, Telly Savalas and Don Rickles. But what do you expect? I counted maybe ten books that the average guy would read, while there was more than 150 for female readers.

I know that women read more than men, but they are catered to more. Marketing is geared toward women, the types of books published lean toward the typical female taste in stories and the books pushed by bookstores and other sellers are stereotypically meant for women. There are Guy Books out there, but usually one has to hunt for them. Gischler's Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse is a great example of a Guy Book: violence, survival and hot chicks. But you're not going to find that book as you're strolling through Target shopping for a shower curtain, or at the local Wal-Mart making fun of nature's mistakes who roam the aisles there, or even shelved in the small magazine section of the grocery store. No, you have to specifically drive to a bookstore and search through the books to find it; and the typical guy doesn't like to shop just to shop.

Guys will read if they find something they like, but usually that book will fall into their hands through a series of events that rival a Rube Goldberg nightmare. When I worked in a paper mill during the summers while in college, I would find copies of The Executioner books in various places (also a lot of porn mags). These books seemed to go from one worker to another. Mack Bolan kept me company through some long hours of nothing to do. And I, like my fellow reader before me, would leave the book wherever I happened to finish it so the next worker would have the chance to read it.

I think publishers and book sellers need to take a chance on male readers, or more of a chance than the half-ass effort they do now. The buyers employed by Target should find some of these Guy Books and push them onto the floor where they will catch the eye of a dude walking pass the book section (a section they usually avoid like ladies lingerie... well, most men at least). Or maybe start a book section in Home Depot or Lowe's. I think there is a market out there that's being ignored, but I hope someone somewhere will tap into it.

Flash Fiction Challenge: Pieces of History

2009-02-10T11:44:00.005-05:00

From the creative genius known as Patti Abbott comes another flash fiction challenge. This time, those who participated were given a sentence or two from another participant to begin the story. This is what I came up with. I feel sorry for the poor bastard who received my prompt. Anyway, here's mine:

Pieces of History
By Stephen Allan

Bruce kept the bullet in a small pillbox. He would show it proudly to visitors at the nursing home. This bullet ended the life of Henry Lee Patrick, he would tell people. It blasted out of my service revolver and lodged into the gangster’s ticker. Most of the residents of the home knew who Patrick was, at least the ones who still had all of their marbles, and got a kick out of Bruce’s story; but the boy scouts and girls scouts who came every Saturday to volunteer had never heard of the St. Louis criminal. No one’s ever told you about the great Mississippi crime spree of 1947? Good Lord, Patrick and his men were up and down both sides of the Mississippi River knocking over one bank after the other. Had the whole country in a tizzy for near close 3 months that summer. The kids, who normally looked bored and a bit bothered to visit the home, usually just answered with a blank stare as if they didn’t know what to do in a conversation. Well, I ended that crime spree, Bruce would say and indicate the damaged slug pinched between his fingers before putting it back into the pillbox. That’s my little piece of history.

Bruce told his tale until he received the letter from Charlotte, North Carolina. It was typed on flowery stationary and smelled faintly of perfume and cigarette smoke. The signature was familiar.

Bruce had spent over sixty years telling the story of how he killed Patrick and he came to believe it was true. Fact and fiction were bent at first, then mixed together over the years and finally, in Bruce's past two years at the home, blended into a smooth version that had more lies than truth. Yes, Henry Lee Patrick was dead and yes, the slug Bruce kept in the pillbox was dug out of Patrick's heart; but Bruce didn't pull the trigger.

Dear Bruce,

It seems that our stories no longer need to match and I am able to free you of your obligation. This life would not have happened if it were not for you, so you should not be sad in knowing that it has ended. I have instructed my daughter to mail this letter when I pass away. She is very beautiful and has no idea of the gift you have given her. Without you I would have gone to the gas chamber for sure and she would never have been born. I've included a photo of her and her family. Know this is what you have accomplished.

Sincerely,
Sylvia

Bruce looked at the photo, and then crumpled it up along with the letter and stuffed it into the pocket of his robe. He opened his drawer, grabbed the pillbox and his lighter and walked out of his room. He made it passed the nurses' station and through the ballroom and down the small staircase that led to the outside garden that overlooked the ocean. The autumn wind felt pleasant and cool against his face. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, especially any of the nurses, because he was afraid someone would stop him. When he was satisfied that he was alone without any spies, he walked to one of the outside ashtrays and set the letter and photo in it. He lit the paper and picture and watched it burn for a moment before walking towards the water. At the fence he looked down at the rocky shoreline. The tide swished in and out rhythmically and he just stood there until he couldn't stand the cold any longer. He pulled the pillbox out of his pocket and dropped it into the water.

Bruce never told the story of Henry Lee Patrick ever again.

This is the Most Disturbing Thing I've Seen in Quite Some Time

2009-01-21T13:44:00.003-05:00

House Hunting

2009-01-11T04:34:00.002-05:00

Been doing the real estate thing. Looking at house after house; what can we afford, what do we need in terms of space, how much effort do we want to put into anything requiring the letters DIY?

What do I want in a house? Space, location, yard, character, garage, a furnace I don't have to worry about? Is this permanent? The terms of the mortgage makes it seem so. Should it be something small with the intention of moving later on down the road in ten years or so? What does that mean in terms of staying around here? What does it mean in terms of where I am in life? Is it time to realize that I'm in my mid-thirties and that I'm an adult for better or worse? Is it time to realize where I'm at in terms of a career? On the upward swing of academic administration. Yippee!

What is a house? OK, I know the four walls and a roof thing, but what does it mean to an individual? How does it define? Am I split-level ranch? Am I colonial? Perhaps bungalow? Am I new or am I aged with character? Isn't a house one of the first things that tells you about a person? You meet someone and go to their house and you make all kinds of assumptions according to their taste in a house (why they bought it, what is it that appeals to them) and how they decorate it. Is it because I have such a hard time identifying myself that I have a hard time determining what type of house I want, or even choosing what I want most in a house.

The DIY route means less time doing anything else. I guess you can get a place to where you want it - or live in hope of getting it there - but is it worth the time and effort? I'm not afraid to do the work. I know I can do it; I'm a bit rusty with everything, but it's like riding a bicycle, right? Less time reading, less time writing, less time seeing films, less time playing with the kids.

It's going to be a long process...

Can't Blame Him

2009-01-06T08:54:00.003-05:00

Is it just me or is Apollo staring at Starbuck's chest in this picture?

Oh, I cannot wait for the series to return in a couple of weeks. Any predictions on the final cylon? I'm still thinking Roslin. OK, geek moment passed, go about your business.

Non-Oprah Book Club: Asylum

2009-01-02T08:42:00.003-05:00

Gothic settings, passion, sex, jealousy, tragedy, insanity; could you ask for anything more? Told from the point of view of Dr. Peter Cleave (a most unreliable narrator indeed), Asylum is the story of an unhappy wife who has an affair with one of her husband's psychiatric patients; a decision that leads to incredible ecstasy, as well as incredible sorrow. Patrick McGrath has a tendency to slip under the pleasantries of human nature and expose its most gruesome truths.

The catastrophic love affair characterized by sexual obsession has been a professional interest of mine for many years now.

- First line from Asylum by Patrick McGrath

The Best of the Year... According to Me

2008-12-31T09:36:00.000-05:00

No, I haven't read every book that came out this year. No, I haven't seen every movie, TV show or listened to every album. However, that will not stop me in announcing the best of the year. So, let's get to it.

Best Book: Money Shot

Man, I absolutely fucking loved this book. I had read a couple of mediocre crime novels that left me rather depressed about the state of the genre before I received Christa Faust's book in the mail; but after I raced through the damn thing, not only did I think the book was incredible, but Faust had single-handedly infused my soul with faith for crime fiction and made me feel foolish for even questioning it.

When I think of the novel, it amazes me how she brilliantly maneuvered across the razor blade thin line between timidity and exploitation in dealing in a setting (the porn industry) that offers a seemingly infinite number of ways to turn the story into something that either sanitizes that business and the people in it or something completely salacious. OK, it may not be for everyone, but they should get over their puritanical inhibitions and just enjoy this masterpiece of modern noir.

The bonus for me this year was actually meeting Faust and telling her how much I loved the book.

Runner-up: Y:the Last Man

The tenth, and last, volume of Brian K. Vaughn's smart, semi-apocalyptic epic came out this summer and it did not disappoint.

Best Movie: The Dark Knight

Three letters sum up my reaction to The Dark Knight: Wow. Not only was this the best comic book movie ever, it was also one of the best crime films of the past twenty-five years. Put this right up there with The Departed. I seriously doubt the film will grab a Best Picture nomination, but it should.

Runner-up: WALL-E
In a year of seeing just about every kid movie released (most of which were pretty decent), WALL-E proved that the genre can produce great cinema that deserves recognition among the more "prestigious" films out there.

TV Show: Pushing Daisies

And thanks to the idiots of network television, that's what this delightful, ingenious show will be doing. If only there were someone in TV Land who had Ned's magic touch. Now there is barely any reason to watch NBC, CBS, ABC or Fox.

Runner-up: Mad Men

Bold, brilliant and moody. What more could you want in a show?

Music: Erykah Badu, New Amerykah Part One (4th World War)

Oh, the sweet voice of she with the impressive hair.

Runner-up: Vampire Weekend, Vampire Weekend

Go gives a fuck about an oxford comma? I do.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like X-Mas

2008-12-13T08:55:00.001-05:00

This is what Christmas with my family looks like.

Violence!

2008-12-10T11:08:00.002-05:00

I was e-mailing someone today about politics and noir fiction and whether the genre leaned either to the left or to the right. My short answer is it can do both. Anyway, this is what I wrote:

It's funny to think that noir stuff leans toward the political right. Maybe if you're James Ellroy, but I think most contemporary crime novelists are quite liberal because they take on the troubles of society and not on the individual. The crime novel is the new social novel. THE WIRE is a good example and the writers for that show, Lehane, Richard Price, David Simon and especially George Pelecanos lean toward the left. I can understand thinking that the use of guns and violence are accepted tools of the right, especially gun usage; but I think there is a difference in portraying violence realistically and being gratuitous. However, I'm a huge fan of stylized violence - Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, etc. (I laughed my way through Hostel because there is apparently something wrong with me); so I am very guilty of using fictional violence, I'll admit it. What does that say about my political leanings? I have no idea. I guess if you didn't know me, it'd be possible to label me more conservative than I really am. A couple of years ago Keith Olbermann showed some footage of this automatic weapons get-together these gun hobbyists have every year in the Kentucky boonies, and I'm talking about high powered miniguns that shoot twenty rounds a second, and they were shooting up stuff and blowing shit up and Olbermann said something like, "I don't care what your stance on gun control is, that's pretty cool." There is something about destruction that fascinates us, I think; whether it is the breakdown of society, the tragic downfall of a single character or an old Pinto getting shot to shit. Perhaps that is what draws me to the genre more than anything.

Non-Oprah Film Club: Across 110th Street

2008-12-08T11:07:00.004-05:00

Released in 1972, Across 110th Street is the violent story of a trio of robbers who gun down 5 guys while stealing $300,000 in mob money, and the race between the police and the black and Italian mob they ripped off.

Where has this movie been all of my life? If Sidney Lumet made a blaxploitation movie, it would be Across 110th Street. Acutally, I don't know if Lumet could have pulled this off to tell you the truth. The rough direction by Barry Shear, whose economic television technique shines through, along with the raw performances from Paul Benjamin and Anthony Quinn (who is a baaad motherfucker in this - who thought Anthony Quinn could be a bad motherfucker?) transforms 110th from a generic urban action movie into a real piece of cinematic art.

Highly recommended.

Like Watching Sausage Being Made, But Not As Interesting

2008-12-04T10:29:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I watched the opening session of the Maine State Legislature. It was basically pomp and circumstance with addresses by our governor, John Baldacci (if only there were an emoticon that expressed "I feel nauseous just thinking about this douche bag, let alone writing his name; and I can't wait until he is out of power), as well as from the newly appointed Speaker of the House, Hannah ("Hi Mom! Thanks for getting me the job") Pingree. OK, so I'm not impressed with them, but what's the alternative, voting Republican? Hello, lesser evil.

Anyway, using my poli sci degree I will attempt to breakdown a few of the wonders I witnesses yesterday.

First: What's the point of giving these people a lunch buffett? Can't they go to the cafeteria and get their own damn food? There are a lot of needy people in Maine facing benefit cuts at the hands of the same people going for a second helping of rolls. I don't think that was government cheese I saw on the table.

Second: Should we feel proud or frightened in regards to that unstable guy who seems to show up at every government session, whether it's the State Legislature or a meeting of a local school board? On one hand, it's nice that people show an interest in the process; on the other hand, these people seem to carry one or more types of Hepatitis, haven't discovered the wonders of a comb, consider Old Duke an acceptable substitute for mouth wash, think showers are a once-a-month event and usually express their opinions out loud to whomever is on the other side of the conversation in their head. Maybe these are the true political scientists. Most people weren't as riveted with the whole spectacle as this guy. I wonder what his party affiliation is.

Third: OK, I admit it, I'm a sucker for the whole government thing. I'm proud of the architecture of our State House and the enthusiasm in the air. For small moments of time, I forgot my cynical side (the reasonable one) and enjoyed the ceremony of it. Do I dare say that I'm optimistic? Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Standing on the Edge of Definition

2008-12-01T09:19:00.002-05:00

The definition of noir can be pretty fleeting. There is no universal standard, other than it is dark. I still like Dennis Lehane's definition that noir is working class tragedy, and as I continue to write I find what I'm interested in is that tragedy. It's funny that you need to spend a couple of years writing before you realize what it is you want to write.

So, does that mean the hard boiled stuff of tough guys and dames and guns is over for me? Hell no! That stuff is still fun to write, but more and more the stories that appear before me on the computer screen are tales of muted desperation and remorse instead of escapism. Basically I'm veering dangerously close to that literary divide the snobbish jackass literarti made up so they can sneer at genre fiction. I hope like hell I never cross it; fuck those idiots. Where I want to be is in the twilight where intelligent, open-minded readers appreciate character and plot equally. Yes, there are stories that are tilted more toward character and ones that lean heavily toward plot, but I don't thing the two are mutually exclusive. Some will tell you that you can only lean one way or the other - bullshit, that's two-dimensional thinking. Where would you place The Great Gatsby on that scale, or They Shoot Horses Don't They? or The Last Good Kiss?

So, we as a group will continue to fail in our efforts to grasp a concrete universal definition of that phantom we call our genre, but for me, it's a little more solidified. At least I can live with it.

Sleep

2008-11-29T02:39:00.002-05:00

Ok, it's twenty minutes to three in the morning and I'm up. I've read a little bit (George R.R. Martin's A Fest for Crows), a watched a little TV (John Huston's The Misfits) and wrote a little (502 words!). Now what?

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck

2008-11-22T22:20:00.002-05:00

If you're still reading this after that tasteful title, then I assume you can handle a couple of swear words. Words happen. We read them, we hear them, we think them; they will never go away, and we can't really ignore them. If you're a writer, you probably shouldn't stop thinking about words - or how anyone else chooses to use them. Yes, this is a rant on censorship. Let's begin:

Say you are an aspiring writer and you attend a conference and you hear a dirty word, what should you do?

A. Go bat shit crazy.

B. Head to the nearest listserv and condemn potty mouths who use such language.

C. Sit in the frumpy couch you've awaited the sweet kiss of death in for the past ten years and complain to your six cats, one of whom is the inspiration for your knitting/feline/cooking themed novel.

D. Realize that as a writer you shouldn't tell anyone how to express themselves.

If you picked A,B or C - bullshit. You'd never make it pass the title, so I'm not too worried. The correct answer is D.

Oh, George Bush, We No Longer Need You

2008-11-21T20:13:00.002-05:00

Not only do we get a new President, but we also gained a new national embarrassment. If Sarah Palin continues to do things like this, well, I think she'll remain in the national spotlight.

I have to say this is the funniest damn thing I've ever seen on MSNBC.

Interviews

2008-11-21T09:12:00.003-05:00

I was thinking about starting up the interviews again on the blog. The last one I did was with the incredibly talented, distinguished and over all nice guy James Patrick Kelly, seen here in this dignified photograph:

Yes, Jim, you're number in my book too.

Would you guys read them? Any suggestions? Let me know.

Research

2008-11-20T10:05:00.002-05:00

I need to do some research. Nothing too deep; I'm not looking to write a peer reviewed journal article or anything, just enough knowledge so I can pretend I know what I'm talking about. Of course, it's also a wonderfully deceptive procrastination.

It Shouldn't Have Been This Close

2008-11-19T10:14:00.002-05:00

Congratulations to Alaska for not re-electing the first convicted felon to the U.S. Senate. That's one less political embarrassment for the state.

Tired

2008-11-18T16:01:00.003-05:00

I was completely exhausted when I got home last night; I barely made it past 7:00 before I conked out. It was a combination of the whirlwind through Crimebake this weekend and arguing most of yesterday (not with my wife; it was work related). So, that means I have to do really well tonight and find at least 45 minutes to write. 45 minutes or 600 words, which ever comes first.

Crimebake

2008-11-17T12:32:00.003-05:00

So, I went to Crimebake this past weekend. It's only the second conference I've attended; the first being Noircon in April. I'm getting better at these things. I made a few more contacts, had a publisher interested in seeing my novel, caught up with friends (including a dear friend from high school I hadn't seen in about 12 years). Oh, and I signed some books - for strangers! These people weren't related to me at all, and they still wanted me to sign their books. They felt no obligation. I think I signed about 30 books in all. How fucking cool is that? Very fucking cool.

So, yes, my story Some Things Can Never Be the Same has been published in Level Best Books' latest anthology, Deadfall, and the book is available right now.

And I got recognized by a few people, and not in a police lineup sort of way, but in a "I like your stories" sort of way. They may have been polite in saying it, but hell, I'll take it.

Recognized

2008-11-16T22:42:00.001-05:00

Apparently, people actually read this thing.

I had a pretty cool weekend. More later.

A Great Day

2008-11-05T12:14:00.002-05:00

I can't remember a time when I was more inspired by my country. For the first time in our history, the rhetoric of the American Dream has become reality. This feels like a new beginning of American greatness.

Jesus, I hope he doesn't screw up.

This Weekend

2008-10-09T10:14:00.003-04:00

I am secluding myself from the rest of the world this weekend and writing. Nothing else but sitting and writing from Saturday morning until Monday afternoon. Now I need to prepare myself as follows (with apologies to Trainspotting):

Stage one, preparation. For this you will need one room which you will not leave. Soothing music. Tomato soup, ten tins of. Mushroom soup, eight tins of, for consumption cold. Ice cream, vanilla, one large tub of. Magnesia, milk of, one bottle. Paracetamol, mouthwash, vitamins. Mineral water, Lucozade, pornography. One mattress. One bucket for urine, one for feces and one for vomitus. One television and one bottle of Valium. And now I'm ready.

Balance

2008-10-04T10:47:00.001-04:00

Justice? Yeah, I think so.

How far we've come where the economy is more important in the media than O.J.

Oh, Fuck Me

2008-10-03T17:50:00.002-04:00

McCain turns to Maine's Second District. Michigan's loss is our gain? Fantastic. Guess who's coming to visit? We got moose, we got hockey moms, we put lipstick on pigs...

Short Attention Span Politics

2008-10-02T22:57:00.003-04:00

I think Sara Palin is our first short attention span candidate. As she was responding to Gwen Ifill's questions, I kept on forgetting what it was Gwen asked. Palin seem to ignore whatever the topic was and stuck with the campaign talking points. She was all over the place. She just rambled on until her time was up - and she didn't say anything. Tax cuts! Maverick! Change! She's perfect for the under informed populace, the MTV generation used to quick glimpses of information and the certifiably insane. The United Stupids of America are probably zoning in and out while she's babbling, unaware that she's skirting the issues being discussed. There is no way people who pay attention to shit are totally for her because of her position or knowledge - these supporters must have some other motivation.

Lunch Hour Writing

2008-10-01T13:15:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I write while I eat my lunch at my desk, if I don't have any errands to run. So, today I had bologna and cheese and typed 941 words during my lunch. Not too bad.

Quote

2008-10-01T11:29:00.001-04:00

"I’ve always believed that America’s government was a unique political system — one designed by geniuses so that it could be run by idiots. I was wrong. No system can be smart enough to survive this level of incompetence and recklessness by the people charged to run it."

- Thomas Friedman, New York Times, October 1, 2008

Newman

2008-09-28T01:26:00.003-04:00

Above my desk is a poster of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, one of my favorite movies. It's the freeze frame ending of the movie where Butch and Sundance rush out to fight the Bolivian Army. Redford is a pretty good actor, I've always liked his work; but it's Newman who makes that movie. It's Newman who makes The Sting, he makes Absence of Malice, he makes Slap Shot and every other movie he starred in. Now he won't star in a movie ever again. Very sad.

Debating the Debate

2008-09-27T00:01:00.002-04:00

Why do news organizations immediately go to someone in each of the opposing camps and ask their opinion on how the debates went? Are they expecting one of them to go, "Well, shit, my guy totally fucked up and I gotta say, after listening to his opponent, I'm gonna switch sides." No. Their guy could have shouted out, "I'd suck Bin Laden's balls!" and they'd still say he won. What's the point? The same goes for the commentators on staff. Really, Pat Buchanan thought McCain won? I am abso-fucking-lutely shocked. I want someone to give me a honest assessment.

OK, I'll tell you that I think Obama won, but I'm biased. So, read this with a grain of salt.

Obama did win, but only by the skin of his teeth. He wasn't strong going into the first twenty minutes of the debate - he seemed to be treading water. I think there were a ton of opportunities to attack McCain, but he let them all slip away. McCain on the other hand, may not have beat Obama, but he came away with a great success - he didn't lose the entire election, which was the direction he was heading in this week. He put his campaign back on track after this odd "senior moment" of the non-suspension campaign suspension and swooping into Washington with enough political theater that House Republicans could stage their revolt. (OK, they probably would have revolted anyway, but McCain's presence sure as shit appeared to be the catalyst) and the whole will he or won't he suspense about attending the debate at all. Not to mention pissing of David Letterman - which may actually have caused more lasting damage than anything else. Who wants a national personality with a nightly show seen by millions of voters crapping all over you Monday through Friday from now until the election?

So, no real fireworks. They both got in a few jabs and both stumbled. Obama benefitted from finally finding his footing and strengthened during the last half hour - which may have swayed my thinking he won. But it's next Thursday's debate which will be the fun one. Palin v. Biden. What kind of shenanigans will the McCain campaign pull to deflect from that? Will he pull her and put Rudy in her place? Hmmm...

It's Like Real Life, Except Not as Ridiculous

2008-09-26T09:29:00.001-04:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Forgotten Book Friday

2008-09-26T09:07:00.003-04:00

For my contribution to Patti Abbott's Friday Forgotten Books this week, I suggest Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations because it seems some people have forgotten that it's the backbone of their entire economic philosophy.

A Poem by Sara Palin

2008-09-25T22:18:00.002-04:00

Excellent Question, Katie

By Sara Palin

That Alaska,
a very narrow maritime border,
between a foreign country: Russia.
And on our other side, the land-- boundary that we have.
Canada, it… it's funny.
A comment like that was kind of made to…
I don't know,
you know, Reporters?
Yeah, mocked,
I guess that's the word,
yeah.

Our next door neighbors are,
foreign countries.
They're in the state that I am the executive of.
And there in Russia.
We have trade missions,
back and forth.
We, we do.
It's very important,
when you consider,
even national security issues with Russia.

As Putin rears his head,
Comes into the air space of the United States of America.
Where? Where do they go?
It's Alaska.
It's just right over the border. It is.
From Alaska that we send those out,
to make sure that an eye is being kept.
This very powerful nation, Russia.
Because they are right there.
They are right next to our state.

Armageddon It - A Political Rant

2008-09-24T08:52:00.005-04:00

Holy shit, the world is coming to an end. Save us Henry Paulsen! What do you need? $700 billion and absolute power? You got it.

Wait, let me get this straight, these big wig capitalists - including the first MBA President - want a socialized solution to this mess? The United States Government now owns an 80% share in AIG. We own one of the largest insurance and financial companies in the world, and the government has an actual say in how the business is run. Even Eugene Debs has risen from the grave to say, "What the fuck?"

OK, this isn't exactly communism, but it isn't exactly capitalism - it's something in between, a socialism that's nationalized, a kind of national socialism, if you will. I believe another country dabbled in a similar scheme sometime around the first half of the Twentieth Century. Can't remember much about it (damn my public school education), but I think they also had a bone to pick with the Jews.Oh, it'll come to me.

Can someone please tell me how we can bail out these millionaire fuck ups (the air will be filled with golden parachutes), but there are still children in this country who go hungry and don't have adequate medical care? I mean, if we're heading for a socialist nation why not fix a few problems along the way? If we're going to say to hell with our economic ideals, why not do some good on our pathway to a socialist Hell?

And what is Congress doing? They're speeding this bail out along because they've been told the sky is falling - and they want to recess to campaign, so they'll just go back to Washington to do the same nothing they've shown such a knack for doing. There is no doubt that a bill will be passed, probably as soon as this weekend without a whole hell of a lot of discussion - or at least not any constructive discussion [But hey, there's a Presidential debate happening friday, so that should give us a real national discussion about this problem... what's that? They're only focusing on foreign policy? Really? The biggest economic crisis is currently happening and they're not going to talk about it? What the fuck?]. I bet the vote to approve this bail out will occur somewhere around 1:00 in the morning, you know the same time of night last Saturday the Treasury Department released their $700 billion, no strings attached, the Treasury Secretary becomes the most powerful person in the U.S. government request.

Thank god there's a presidential election coming up with two highly qualified candidates... what's that? Economy is one of McCain's weaknesses and Obama hasn't proven himself on that front either. Well at least Sara Palin has a strong grasp of responsible public spending... what's that? Put her town of 6,500 people $20 million dollars in the hole during her one term in office. You'll excuse me while I breakdown and cry. At least she had a crash course in foreign policy yesterday with meeting with some foreign heads of state, like Henry Kissinger. Hell, she was probably wondering which country Kissinger ran. The funny dude has a weird accent, so it's got to be from somewhere across the Atlantic, right?

OK, I'll let you in on a little secret about how to follow politics without becoming an alcoholic or a meth addict (I mean, look at the way the people in Wasilla handled Palin's role of mayor) - the secret is to have a sense of humor... and no investments.

Influences

2008-09-19T09:18:00.001-04:00

I have a piece of paper Dennis Lehane gave me during my first graduate workshop; it's probably the best bit of writing advice I've ever received. On that paper he listed a number of authors and books he thought I should read. The book at the top of that list: The Last Good Kiss by James Crumley. I've since read it about four or five times. I even wrote part of my MFA thesis on it. I was hooked on Crumley, and I went and read everything. I introduced my grandfather to Crumley and he quickly became one of his favorite writers, along side Elmore Leonard.

I've encountered many writers who can recite, if not exactly, then at least in some close facsimile of it, the opening lines to The Last Good Kiss. Everyone of them remembers the bulldog. Crumley was one of the first writers to usher in the modern era of the crime novel. C.W. Sughrue and Milo Milodragovitch were different kinds of heroes (if one could really call them that) than their predecessors. They were most definitely flawed characters who struggled with life more than they struggled with whatever crimes they were investigating. After reading about Sughrue and Milo, well, one could never look at a crime novel the same way again.

I was shocked yesterday to learn that Crumley had passed away. He was the second major influence to have died in the past week; the first being Gregory McDonald. I owe a lot of my writing style to McDonald, as well as my understanding of dialog. Hell, I wanted to name my son Fletcher at one point.

I don't know why the passing of these men has affected me so much, after all I didn't know either of them on a personal level. Maybe because writing becomes a sort of personification; a representation of its creator, and when a book or story has any type of impact we feel connected to the writer. Perhaps it's similar to having a crush on someone - it's a rather selfish endeavor in which we are the only ones who take pleasure in it, the only ones who derive any meaning from such a frivolous bond, which is often non-existent, only a one-way relationship.

But whatever the reason for my connection to these two writers, I still feel that something in my life that once was there is no longer. A sad time, indeed.

DFW

2008-09-15T12:51:00.002-04:00

I don't think I'll ever finish Infinite Jest. I bought the book when it first came out in hardcover 12 or 13 years ago and have made numerous attempts at reading David Foster Wallace's behemoth. The book now holds a permanent place on my TBR pile. I'll do it someday, at least that's what I keep telling myself. But I'm like a pathetic mountaineer who can't even make it to base camp at the foot of Everest. I've made it to page 200 a couple of times (with the endnotes, it's more like 250), but other, shorter books have pulled me away. Will I finally achieve my goal of finishing IJ now that Wallace is gone? Highly unlikely. But I may finally finish The Broom of the System.

Hypocrisy

2008-09-04T12:49:00.003-04:00

The more I watch and listen to Sarah Palin, the more she reminds me of those book burning idiots who want to ban Catcher in the Rye and The Golden Compass from the local library. But hey, Banned Books Week is coming up so maybe she'll come out and tell us how much she loved The Chocolate War ... watching it burn. But I was half-surprised (half-not surprised) to learn that my instinct was correct.

Tell Me Neil Patrick Harris Isn't Fisting This Guy

2008-08-28T23:24:00.001-04:00

Six

2008-08-28T20:34:00.002-04:00

Today I submitted four (4) stories, which makes the submission number for the month six (6). I guess I just got motivated today or something. I also did revisions and started a second draft of a story. It's like I'm a real writer or something. Well, almost Obama time. I don't get the argument that speaking in front of 75,000 might be a negative. Yeah, people like him. Yeah, he's popular. Yeah, it's a fucking election - the most popular guy wins. But I still can't believe opinion polls are so close.

Media Releases Photos of McCain Voters

2008-08-26T09:41:00.003-04:00

These guys will probably need an absentee ballot.

Doing the Dad Thing

2008-08-26T01:28:00.005-04:00

This is what I come home to every night.

It's like an adorable version of The Children of the Corn.

Quotes

2008-08-24T20:26:00.000-04:00

"She comes back to tell me she's gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed
As if I'd never noticed
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow"

- Paul Simon, Graceland

Rock n Roll Preacher

2008-08-24T00:44:00.003-04:00

So I went to a wedding the other day. It was a nice affair, as most weddings are - there haven't been many weddings that weren't nice, at least for the guest. Anyway, amid the usual white wedding dresses, sharp dressed groom's men, tiered cake and ever present stuffed chicken breast was a most unusual preacher. To give you a slight idea of this guy, imagine Garth Ennis and Flannery O'Connor having a baby and that baby becoming a preacher. Everyone in the wedding party is wearing the traditional garb- the groom in his Marine uniform - but the guy presiding over the event is in black jeans (slightly acid washed), black leather jacket and Timberlands. And the whole ceremony felt like improve with the preacher just spouting some religious stream of conscious diatribe as it popped into his head and delivering it in a folksy easy going manner. The hipster baptist preacher channeling his inner McConaughey. I bet his favorite movies are Easy Rider and Vanishing Point. But the best part was his voice - he spoke as if he had Tom Waits stuck in his throat. As he spoke I kept imagining him in some tattered revival tent preaching to a bunch of hicks, each of them swaying to his county-tinged religious oratory - even some of the women folk in the sweltering canvas tent finding themselves sexually aroused. Even though I wasn't buying his bullshit - and it was most certainly bullshit - I could see people persuaded by this man and his talk of Jesus. And then I knew I had found a character. I don't know where he'll find a spot in my imagination - in a novel down the road or lucky enough to have his own short story, but he (or at least my fancied version of him) will show up on my computer screen some day.

You're Gonna Get Yours

2008-08-06T14:34:00.002-04:00

In continuing my extremely slow revelation of my recent publications (yes, there's more to come), I give you my latest story in Big Daddy Thug's site of incredible awesomeness, Thuglit. You're Gonna Get Yours is a sort of sequel to my previous Thuglit story, If There's a Hell Below, We're All Gonna Go in that the cash in the first story shows up in the second. The setting is still New Orleans, but it's a couple of years after Katrina. The main character is an ex-con who looks for his son's killer amid the mean streets of a city trying to pull itself together. There's violence and bad language - but no sex, sorry.

So, give the story a read. If you like it, let me know.

How Can We Save Ourselves If We Don't Make Ourselves Sick?

2008-08-01T12:09:00.002-04:00

Dear writers of 24, I think I've found your new villain for next season. This guy was poisoning random people with anthrax so he could test his anthrax vaccine? WTF to the nth degree. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy walked around his apartment in full Heath Ledger Joker make-up repeating, "Why so serious?" over and over again.

Shit

2008-07-31T17:33:00.001-04:00

Does this mean I have to retire yet another Red Sox t-shirt? Make some room Damon, Manny's coming to keep you company.

Taibbi Quote

2008-07-31T16:03:00.003-04:00

"Phoenix, July 13th, Sunday morning. Thank God John McCain has declared that he wants to wallpaper the continent with new nuke plants, because now the chances are better that this wretched slab of hot, birdshit-covered asphalt they call a state will be blown to hell in an accident someday. I hate this place. Once the sun comes up on an Arizaona weekend, nothing moves except the occasional elderly-piloted Buick floating boatlike in the direction of some hideous megachurch."

- Matt Taibbi, "Without a Prayer" Rolling Stone, August 7, 2008

Non-Oprah Book Club: What Makes Sammy Run?

2008-07-31T11:59:00.002-04:00

Published in the early 1940's, Budd Schulberg's What Makes Sammy Run? is probably still the best novel about Hollywood, even surpassing his contemporary (and one time collaborator) F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Last Tycoon. It tells the story of a ruthlessly ambitious boy, Sammy Glick, who backstabs his way to the top of the Hollywood studio system. Glick is such an interesting character, one who fascinates the reader without earning any sympathy.

Some, including Samuel Goldwyn, criticized the book as being anti-semetic, calling Schulberg a self-hating jew for writing it. In truth, the character of Glick would be just as wicked if his last name was McCoy. Besides, Glick being a jew has little to do with the actual story. However, the book was enough of a catalyst for MGM to fire Schulberg.

What is more interesting in terms of the novel's plot in relation to Schulberg's own life was the topic of socialism and unions within Hollywood during the 1930's. The struggle between union coordinators and the studios has a major part in the book, with a more favorable view of union organizers. But Schulberg would later testify voluntarily in front of the HUAC and named names, including many of the infamous Hollywood Ten. (This would not be Schulberg's last brush with history - in 1968 he would be one of the men who wrestled Sirhan Sirhan to the floor after the gunman shot Robert Kennedy.) Schulberg would later collaborate with another famous HUAC witness, Elia Kazan, in writing On the Waterfront. The film has long been categorized as Kazan and Schulberg's answer to the criticism they received for testifying since the movie is about an informer ratting out his friends.

But besides Schulberg's history of contridictory politics, Sammy is still a great book; one of my favorites. Well worth a read.

Quotes

2008-07-30T14:30:00.003-04:00

I've always admired people who can quote passages of poetry, or parts of their favorite books or memorize whole section of dialog from plays. I can't do it. I also have an inability to figuring out what people are saying when they spell out a word. "Did you get the B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y P-R-E-S-E-N..." Hold it right there because you lost me at B-I-R.

So, I'm going to try to do something about it (the quote thing, not the spelling. I'm never going to be able to do the spelling thing.) From now on, every time I find a quote that I like, I'm going to post it here. Here's the first:

Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar): He's security conscious, he's smart. Smooth in a cheesy Sam kind of way

Sam (Bruce Campbell): Smooth is smooth, baby.

- Burn Notice

I'm So Proud

2008-07-29T08:53:00.002-04:00

For the second time I've won the daily Craption contest on Cracked.com, but only by one vote. That means that if the entry below me gets a couple of votes, that guy will be ahead. Anyway, click here to read and bask in my glory.

Non-Oprah Book Club: Getting Away With It

2008-07-25T10:49:00.003-04:00

Steven Soderbergh is a pretty funny guy. He doesn't take himself too seriously, which is always a great quality in a narrator - and it's what saves his (sort-of) memoir, Getting Away With It, or The Further Adventures of the Luckiest Bastard You Ever Saw, from being an incredible depressing tale of Hollywood misery. For those who are unfamiliar with Soderbergh, he's a film director who made Out of Sight, Ocean's Eleven and Traffic, for which he won the Best Director Oscar. His first film, Sex, Lies and Videotape, was a giant milestone in independent cinema. It won the Audience Award at a little thing called the US Film Festival, which would later change its name to the Sundance Film Festival; as well as winning the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival. But his career hit a low while he was making his fourth film, The Underneath. Feeling like a loser after making three films in a row that failed to live up to his talent and promise, he decided to make a movie for himself called Schizopolis. He wrote, directed, produced, photographed, scored... well, did just about everything on the movie. If you've never seen it - and you're open to (and really enjoy) fucked up movies - stop whatever you're doing and go rent it, buy it, whatever. To give you an idea of how off the wall the movie is, Entertainment Weekly gave the movie an A, but also gave it an F.

Getting Away With It chronicles Soderbergh's time between The Underneath until he found his stride again with his adaptation of Elmore Leonard's Out of Sight. Along with writing about his troubles, Soderbergh spends half of the book talking with one of his filmmaking heroes, Richard Lester. Lester is promoted on the cover of the book as "the man who knew more than he was asked." It's a sort of smart ass take on Truffaut's series of interviews with Hitchcock.

This is a great book for anyone interested in filmmaking.

A Simple Satisfaction

2008-07-24T11:43:00.002-04:00

To continue my publishing news updates - yes I have more coming - I present a flash I wrote for D.Z. Allen's Muzzle Flash titled A Simple Satisfaction. It appeared in May. Read it, let me know what you think and then head to the mall for a little shopping.

What I've Been Up To For the Past Few Months

2008-07-23T09:06:00.013-04:00

Besides writing, of course. This is a continuation of something I started a few months ago, which was leaving a list of things I have read, watched or went to see. So, this is basically for me, but feel free to check it out if you want.

What Kind of White Person Are You?

2008-07-22T12:31:00.005-04:00

People are quick to point out that I'm mostly white. I hear a version of the following quite often: "You certainly don't look like a(n) [Indian, Native American, Prairie Nigger]" The people who state the later are a bit insensitive to our politically correct times and usually have a Confederate flag covering more than one of their living room windows. However having 25% Indian in me was a little like having an in at Studio 54 when I went to a conference on race a couple of months ago. "Oh, another white man." "Actually, I'm part Indian." "Well, why didn't you say so? Let me show the secret non-white handshake." Oh, believe me, I played that up as much as humanly possible.

Anyway, like most surfers of the interweb I've been reading Stuff White People Like (silly honkies) and realized that a lot on the list pertained to me quite a bit. So, I thought I'd share my whiteness to the world and point out the stuff this (mostly) white person likes.

Film Festivals
Diversity
Barack Obama (I'll admit it, I've swallowed the red pill)
Wes Anderson Movies (my favorite is The Royal Tenenbaums)
Non-profit Organizations
Tea
Having Black Friends (why isn't having an Indian friend just as cool?)
Gifted Children (I wouldn't have any other kind)
Writers Workshops (a great place to hear everything you want to hear about your own work and secretly laugh at everyone else)
Microbreweries (beer is swell)
David Sedaris
Snowboarding (even though I haven't been on one in about ten years)
The Daily Show/Colbert Report (the Sunday New York Times only comes once a week. Where else can I get my news?)
Breakfast Places
Arrested Development
Apple Products
Indie Music (I liked Vampire Weekend before they played SNL)
Public Radio
The Sunday New York Times
Arts Degrees (MFA, anyone?)
Irony
Living by the Water
Sarah Silverman
Dogs (I want one)
Juno
Expensive Sandwiches (Rueben Panini, anyone?)
Standing Still at Concerts (though I will bob my head once and awhile)
Michel Gondry
Oscar Parties (I already have my list of winners for next year)
Threatening to Move to Canada (it's only a couple of hours away)
Musical Comedy
The Idea of Soccer (Remind me to buy a new Umbro t-shirt)
Graduate School (an MFA is a really great idea)
Bad Memories of High School
T-Shirts (currently wearing a t-shirt of some cool concert venue in San Diego I've never seen)
The Wire
Shorts
Having Gay Friends
Dinner Parties
Music Piracy
Free Health Care
New Balance Sneakers (the factory store is just so close)
Grammar (Yes, I do have an opinion on the Oxford comma)
Children's Games as Adults

So, to all the white people out there, what do you like?

Hardcore Hardboiled

2008-07-22T08:27:00.003-04:00

Man, I am so far behind in posting these things.

Anyway, Thuglit's first anthology, Hardcore Hardboiled came out in June and it contain a sweet little story called If There's a Hell Below, We're All Gonna Go by yours truly. It's full of unicorns and puppy dogs and rainbow giggles... errr... not really. Actually it's full of nasty guys and guns and blood - with a hurricane thrown in for good measure.

Even though all of you have already bought copies for yourself and all of your friends, consider picking up a few more, just for the hell of it.

New Post

2008-07-16T08:53:00.002-04:00

Hey. hey, everybody! It's been a while. Yes, I've neglected the blog for a bit, but I've been busy with other things - like writing. I know, I'm just as surprised as you are. I have some publishing news to share - which I'll get to later on - and some miscellaneous stuff I plan on posting.

I just finished a class on detective fiction. I don't know what my grade is yet, but I'm not too worried that I flunked or anything. I plan on posting all of my essays here just because.

Also, I accidentally shaved off the goatee this morning - and no it wasn't some hit 35 and go nuts thing, I had the setting for my trimmer on low and didn't realize it and oops! I had to finish the job, otherwise I'd look a little lopsided. So with a few strokes of the razor I went from 35 to 12. From grunge angst to baby face. I haven't seen my chin in twelve years - it looks the same. Also, it's very cold.

"I Can't Believe I'm Paying for Sex on My Birthday"

2008-07-07T20:36:00.002-04:00

Happy birthday to Jim Gaffigan.

Some other people who share a birthday with Jim:

Michelle Kwan
Mo Collins
Chuck Knoblauch
Akiva Goldsman
The writer of the Hump the Stump series
Jessica Hahn
Marc Chagall
Robert Heinlein
William Kunstler
David McCullough
Ringo

Non-Oprah Book Club (kids book edition): Something Wicked This Way Comes

2008-07-04T00:01:00.000-04:00

Patti Abbott has asked her fellow bloggers to pick a favorite kids book, and I thought of one that scared the living shit out of me when I was younger: Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This Way Comes.

In the book, a mysterious travelling carnival comes to a quiet Midwestern town, piquing the interests of two 13-year-old boys who are on that edge between childhood and adulthood. But they aren't the only ones fascinated by the enigmatic carnival as other town residents visit the strange shows and rides - including the carousel. The man who runs the show, Mr. Dark, lures people with promises of youth (or, for the boys, adulthood); but there is an evil catch (there always is).

If you have an aversion to carnivals or fairs or circuses (like I do - it's the clowns, creepy fuckers), then this book will haunt you forever. It was even turned into a movie - by Disney!

I Like Tron as Much as the Next Guy, But What the... !?!

2008-06-20T08:30:00.003-04:00

Why has no one told me about this guy? Apparently I've had my head in the sand to never have noticed. And he continues to (sort of) make news.

Good news for the ladies: He's single!

Which is the real one? I can't tell.

39 Points!

2008-06-18T08:11:00.003-04:00

131 to 92. Oops, sorry, Kobe.

Patti Abbott Flash Fiesta - Gas

2008-06-15T18:27:00.002-04:00

A little while ago Patti Abbott forwarded a call for Flash Fiction stories with the following prompt: "With gas/ (diesel/petrol) prices rising, our (their) plans had to change." And I forgot all about it...until Patti e-mailed me Friday. Anyway, here's my contribution. It was written in under an hour so judge it too harshly.

Gas

By Stephen Allan

With the price of gas rising, our plans had to change. The Sheriff decided that high-speed pursuits weren’t worth the trouble and if someone wouldn’t pull over as soon as they saw the flashing blues, then to hell with it. He’d rather have a good looking budget to show the county commissioners than adding a few more arrests to the monthly report.

To accommodate the new policy, three of us deputies covered the fifteen-mile stretch of Route 1 that ran through Quoddy Harbor, the county seat of Quoddy County. One patrol unit, usually Sheriff Timmy Kelley, sat near the Penobscot County line, hidden by the large Welcome to Quoddy County sign; another, Tommy Kelley (yes, they’re related), parked in the Shop n’ Save parking lot and the third, that would be me, sat on the other side of town. If a motorist broke the speed limit, one of us would shoot out of our selected hiding places and pull over the offender. We never went more than a few hundred yards – at least not during the first week.

Have you ever heard of Ben Sonnenfeld? Yeah, I thought you had, I mean who hasn’t? How can you not have heard of a guy who’s robbed a dozen banks and escaped the FBI as many times as Sonnenfeld? The guy’s damn face was plastered on the TV news for a month. Well, anyway, he’s the reason our weeklong streak of not exceeding a few hundred yards was broken.

I can’t begin to tell you about the fluttering I felt in my chest when I heard that Sonnenfeld had been sighted in our part of the country. I kept imaging pulling a gun on the famous criminal and then slamming the cuffs on him. I thought about the photographers’ lights popping as they shot pictures of the two of us walking into the jail. Hero, that’s what they would call me; probably even put it on the front page of the next day’s paper in big letters. That would be pretty sweet. Something I could show all those assholes who laughed at me – and all the girls who wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I was even thinking about plastering all of Sally Wood’s windows with copies of the headline when Sonnenfeld’s famous yellow Camaro raced past me at 70 MPH.

“Holy shit,” I said as I flipped the lights and stamped down on the accelerator. I hit the siren and it screamed as I followed Sonnenfeld into Quoddy Harbor. I yelled into the radio that I was tailing none other than Ben Sonnenfeld.

“Watch your gas,” Sheriff Kelley said. I ignored him and pressed harder on the accelerator. When Sonnenfeld and I rushed past Tommy, I was only a dozen car lengths behind the infamous bank robber.

“Daddy, he ain’t slowing down,” Tommy’s voiced squawked on the radio.

“Goddamn it,” the Sheriff yelled. “I told you to watch your gas.”

“But this is Ben Sonnenfeld,” I said into the radio.

“I don’t care,” the Sheriff said. “We only got so much in the budget.”

We were speeding toward the County line where Sheriff Kelley was perched by the town sign. “Coming your way,” I said. At that moment I saw the Sheriff’s light bar spark up. Sonnenfeld was pushing 90 and I was right there with him. Then I watched as the yellow Camaro went right by the town sign and the Sheriff pulled out into the road and stopped, blocking my path.

I hit the brakes, twisted the wheel and stopped about ten feet from my boss’s cruiser. I flew out of the car and watched the red taillights of Sonnenfeld’s Camaro fade in the distance; all of my dreaming fading with them.

Sheriff Kelley got out of his cruiser and pointed his finger at me. “I keep telling you we only got so much money in the goddamn budget.”

Florida Bound

2008-05-26T02:04:00.002-04:00

In a few hours I will be on my way to the airport for the sunny, hot, devastatingly muggy, blistering 90-degree weather of Orlando. I can't wait to sweat for a week.

Anyway, going black until next weekend.

I've Found Christ!

2008-05-24T15:16:00.001-04:00

But it's not the one you're thinking of.

Non-Oprah Book Club: The Horse Latitudes

2008-05-23T09:05:00.000-04:00

This is one of those special surprise books. I remember that I was looking through the small book selection of my hometown drug strore, Laverdier's - one of the only "bookstores" in town, when I came upon this neon cover. It definitely stood out from the rest of the paperbacks. I picked it up and read the back; it reminded me a little of the few Elmore Leonard books I had read at the time. I bought it, probably went and played a couple of games of Hipoodrome in the arcade next door and went home to read.

That summer, there were two books that I read cover to back without taking a break: The Cider House Rules and The Horse Latitudes. I loved the book, but it was years before I saw another book by Robert Ferrigno. Back before Amazon and Borders, there were small bookstores scattered here and there where I lived; but they really didn't have a huge selection - and the selection at Laverdier's and Doug's Shop 'n Save didn't offer much.

If you've never read it, the book is a violent story of a drug dealer accused of a murder that involves his ex-wife. He has to get to the bottom of a scheme that involves a scientific breakthrough. And as savage as the novel is, it is also pretty funny, especially the bumbling of two thick-necked goons who have about a half of a brain between them.

Craption

2008-05-22T10:00:00.006-04:00

I'm very excited because I won the daily Craption contest on Cracked.com. If you go to the main page today, you'll see my entry in the upper right corner. Or you can go here to see it anytime.

And yes, I do have a demented sense of humor.

I Don't Think This Has Anything to Do With Science

2008-05-19T19:44:00.002-04:00

But it sure is fucking funny. I can't believe this idiot volunteered for this.

Meme

2008-05-19T10:27:00.002-04:00

The tag: (from Patti Abbott)

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read the player’s blog. [I'll leave this open to whomever wants to join in the fun. But do let me know if decide to participate.]
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

A Meme about Various Things

What were you doing ten years ago?
I was living in Portland (Maine), working as a reporter for a very old, very mean publisher - and I absolutely hated it.

What are five things on your to-do list for today (not in any particular order)?
Finish any leftover work I need to do before heading to Orlando next monday. Schedule a shitload of business trips I have to take in June (not counting the one in Florida). Figure out what the hell is wrong with the office website. Start thinking about what to pack for the trip next week. Re-edits on a story.

What are some snacks you enjoy?
Swedish fish, Twizzlers, spoon of peanut butter straight out of the jar.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?
Go to film school, then write and direct a movie or two.

What are five places where you have lived?
Maine. Maine. Maine. Maine. Maine.

What are five jobs you have had?
Reporter, Marketing Research Coordinator, Bag boy, House boy, Mill worker.

What were the last five books you read?
Tristram Shandy (Laurence Sterne). King of Lies (John Hart). Hardcore Hardboiled (various, including me!). Hollywood Station (Joseph Wambaugh). Murder on the Orient Express (Agatha Christie).

What are five web sites you visit daily (in no particular order)?
IMDB
Ain't It Cool News
Huffington Report
New York TImes
Cracked

Neglected Film: Frantic

2008-05-19T08:41:00.003-04:00

With the fourth Indiana Jones movie coming out (I've already decided to go to the midnight show on Wednesday night) I thought I would highlight one of Harrison Ford's most underrated films.

After Ford received an Oscar nomination for 1985's Witness it seemed that he was trying to repeat that success by taking roles that screamed, "give me another nomination." There were fantastic films during this period, such as Presumed Innocent and The Mosquito Coast along with pretty mediocre fare like Regarding Henry (a film that proves that J.J. Abrams, who wrote the screenplay, is a complete hack). Despite Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in 1989, Ford shunned the audience pleasers that made his career until it seems he just said "fuck it" and became Jack Ryan in 1992's Patriot Games, signifying an end to his quest for Oscar. But between 1985 and 1992, Ford went to work with some of the greatest film directors working at the time. Mike Nichols, Peter Weir, Alan J. Pakula; and in 1988, Roman Polanski with Frantic.

The movie is a modern Hitchcock tale. You have the unsuspecting hero out of his element, the MacGuffin, the twists and turns, etc. Ford plays an American doctor vacationing with his wife (Betty Buckley) in Paris. Within hours of landing in France, Buckley is kidnapped and Ford finds himself mixed up with international terrorists. It seems his wife picked up the wrong suitcase at the airport. Soon the American doctor joins up with the only person who can help him, a beautiful smuggler (Emmanuelle Seigner) who brought the MacGuffin from the United States.

An interesting aspect of the film is that it is from the American's point of view, but directed by a European, which gives the movie a more European feel. Though it was probably unintentional, the effect can be very scrambling, immitating the confusion Ford's character feels.

The film received moderately good reviews, however they were very mixed. And it never found any appreciation with moviegoers.

And, as always, I send out an open meme to everyone to write about a neglected film. If you do one, let me know and I'll link it here.

Non-Oprah Book Club: Splinter of the Mind's Eye

2008-05-15T10:32:00.004-04:00

OK, this book isn't anyone's idea of high literature, but it was one of my favorites growing up. Truth be told, I haven't read it since probably junior high, and my tastes have matured since then (maybe) so re-reading it today would most likely prove it to be disappointing.

Star Wars was the center of my childhood. My grandparents took me to the first movie in 1977 when I was almost four years old - it's the first movie I remember seeing in the theater; I had just about every toy Kenner produced; I've seen each of the original three movies at least 200 times each... and my childhood pretty much died when The Phantom Menace was released. But since the Star Wars universe was a major part of my life when I was a kid, I grabbed hold of anything related to the movies, included Splinter of the Mind's Eye by Alan Dean Foster.

The book is a sequel of sorts to the first Star Wars movie (god help me, I will never ever be so moronic as to refer to the first movie as A New Hope). And if you read it (or find a used copy of it somewhere and read it now) you realized that it was conceived and written before Empire and Jedi were even considered. Or, if it wasn't, then George Lucas has some major problems. You see, the creepiest thing about the book is the sexual tension between Luke and Leia. Yeah, that's right - and Lucas has said that he's always had the whole story mapped out, including the whole brother and sister thing. So, if they had done it, their kids would have the power of the Force and an extra chromosome. When you think about it, that would be pretty cool - a powerful Jedi with retard strength. But then again, you'd have this touched child running around Hoth doing face plants in the snow and screaming, "Ice Cream! Ice Cream!" Or walking around the sand dunes of Tatooine telling everyone, "I went poo poo like a kitty."

Anyway, I really liked the book when I was a kid, so I thought I'd mention it here.

The Creative Process

2008-05-13T10:25:00.004-04:00

So few videos come close to the essence of the creative process. (Warning: This is in no way suitable for any work environment, so keep the volume way down.)

I think my favorite part is that they're listening to the Indigo Girls.

Neglected Films: Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story

2008-05-12T10:21:00.004-04:00

OK, when I originally envisioned this segment I thought I'd highlight older movies that have been lost over a number of years, however, I thought I'd include a movie that I actually watched last night. Now, this film was very much neglected when it was released a few years ago, in fact I think its total box office was somewhere in the neighborhood of $3 - someone got in for a half-price matinee.

Anyway, it's a shame because Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story is incredibly smart and incredibly brilliant. It's part adaptation of the unfilmable novel The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, which many believe to be a metafiction book 200 years ahead of its time, and part faux documentary on the filming of the movie. The whole film is a metafiction on filmmaking.

Actor Steve Coogan plays Steve Coogan, actor; a more or less fictionalized version of himself. He's insecure, childish and ultimately funny as hell. It certainly took a lot of guts to pull off this character. There are a few others who also play "themselves" in the movie, such as Gillian Anderson, but they aren't as painfully awkward as Coogan.

The movie was directed by Michael Winterbottom who has had a very interesting career to say the least (A great movie of his to check out, which belongs here too, is Welcome to Sarajevo). He is someone who's more interested in experimenting with filmmaking rather than sticking with the norms - which is probably the reason you've never heard of him. However, his approaches to different movies haven't always led to great movies. Winterbottom has the potential to make a major breakthrough, but I doubt he's interested in that.

I caught Tristram Shandy on the Independent Film Channel, so if you're lucky enough to have the channel you may be able to catch it; if not, then go out and rent it.

Again, I'm leaving an open invitation for others out there who wish to do their own neglect film. If you do so, let me know and I'll link you.

What Really Goes Through Men's Minds

2008-05-11T21:57:00.001-04:00

This is the reason they could never make a movie called What Men Want.

Non-Oprah Book Club: The Giant's House

2008-05-09T14:02:00.004-04:00

To prove to you that I do indeed have a soft side - it's not all blood and guts, you know - I offer a sweet book for this week's selection. This is the story of a lonely librarian who befriends a boy of unusual height, a sort of mundane set-up, I know, but Elizabeth McCracken is such a brilliant writer that you soon forget the high concept idea and become immersed in its complex emotional connections. I could not put this book down once I started it. Absolutely beautiful in its execution and prose.

The Giant's House was published in 1996 and gained some attention when it was nominated for the National Book Award - sadly, it did not win.

Excerpt:

You might think, living alone so long, so seldom touched, I wouldn't know what to do. But I did. Alone in my bed, I'd sometimes tested on myself. I ran a tentative hand along my collarbone; then a confident hand; then somewhere between. There wasn't an inch of skin I hadn't skimmed my fingers along, wondering would someone else like this? I thumbed my ears, traced the outer trough with just a fingernail; strummed my belly; outlined my nose, mouth, as if they were places on a map I longed to visit, a homeland I had not seen since childhood.

Some lonely untouched people might get used to it, decide they could do without. Not me. I learned to touch myself tenderly to give myself what I could not ask others for. I stroked my own cheek; late at night, I brushed the hair off my own tired, worried forehead.

I knew in what order to caress a face, a back. I knew what would be expected, and what surprising. I remembered: there is bone, and there is skin, and muscle, and other things. You must always remember this, encountering a body, the same way you must remember when you walk around Cape Cod that there are trees, and also dunes so vast that while walking in them you cannot see the ocean or road; there are roads, and the ocean, and the bay, scrubby forests full of things that scratch, and bogs. It may seem impossible to dress in readiness for all these things, but you can as long as you are mindful.

Go to Patti's Blog for more Forgotten Friday Books.

Bad Boy

2008-05-07T08:51:00.002-04:00

I did it. I told myself not to do it, but I did it anyway. I went back to page one and read the manuscript I'm working on before finishing it. Good idea? Bad idea? I can't say right now. I was pleased with what I read, even though I had to figure out some sentences that were horribly written or contained words that were creatively spelled. And there was one place where a character gets hit by a car and then miraculously comes back to life without a scratch on him, or any mention that an accident even happened. Some how I put the Terminator in there and didn't even realize it.

One conclusion I did make was that rewrite is going to suck. I was very good in that I didn't correct anything, I didn't add or delete and I didn't scratch any notes in the margins. I left it alone.

Now I have to charge into the last act and bring this puppy to a close... but I'm writing this instead. So goes the life of the procrastinating writer.

Neglected Film: Evolution

2008-05-05T09:41:00.007-04:00

In the tradition of what Patti Abbott is doing with forgotten books, I thought I'd try the same thing with movies. I'm not going to tag anyone to do this, but if you happen to like the idea and want to join in (or if you want to tag someone yourself), let me know and I'll link to your site.

For my first neglected movie I thought I'd highlight a film that no one else seems to appreciate: Ivan Reitman's Evolution. Released in 2001, this spiritual cousin to Reitman's own Ghostbusters received little love from critics (it has only a 41% Tomatometer rating from Rotten Tomatoes) and moviegoers, grossing only $40 million - a blockbuster by independent film standards, but a huge bomb for a summer movie with a $80 million price tag. It's too bad because this is one hilarious comedy.

Faced with dangerous alien lifeforms that evolve at an astronomical pace (accomplishing in a few hours what it has taken us millions of years to do), two community college professors, a firefighter wannabe and a bumbling CDC scientist must find a way to save humanity. Okay, not the most innovative plot in the world - and if it were filmed as the serious thriller it was originally intendend to be, it would have been a disaster; but the comedy is so sarcastic and farcical that the plot doesn't really matter.

But as amusing as the comedy is, it probably wouldn't have been as great without its perfectly cast stars. David Duchovny's dry delivery is something approaching perfection; Orlando Jones, sadly, hasn't found a better role to showcase his vast comedic talents and Seann William Scott is wonderfully goofy. And not to be outdone, Julianne Moore is an amazing klutz.

So, if you're in a whimsical mood and want to watch something extremely giddy, then try Evolution.

Other neglected films:

Patti Abbott - Do the Right Thing

Todd Mason - Prime Cut and The Explosive Generation

Forgotten Books, or the Resurrection of the Non-Oprah Book Club

2008-05-02T10:30:00.004-04:00

Patti Abbott, mother of recent Edgar Award winner Megan Abbott, (congrats!), has started an around the blogosphere friday project that asks bloggers to write about a favorite book that has been lost to the general public. Make that reading public, because the average man on the street couldn't even recall The Great Gatsby. So, I thought I'd chip in, and in doing so, bring back a long forgotten idea I had for this blog, which I called the Non-Oprah Book Club. I'm sure you all remember it and the two books I recommended. By the way, did you like those past recommendations?

Anyway, on to today's forgotten book: The Temple of Gold by William Goldman. If you recognize the author's name, then congratulations, you haven't had your head up your ass for the past forty years. Yes, this Goldman is the same guy who wrote Marathon Man, Magic and The Princess Bride. But beyond that, he is also the Godfather of screenwriters having won two Oscars for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and All the President's Men; as well as adapting The Stepford Wives (the good one with Katherine Ross), Misery and The Hot Rock. In his published scolding of Hollywood, Adventures in the Screen Trade, he famously wrote the often quoted axiam of Hollywood, "Nobody knows anything."

While Goldman's name will continue on, especially in its attachement to The Princess Bride (Goldman has written that the only reason he'll have an obit in the The New York Times is because of Butch and Sundance, but I think his work of Princess Buttercup and her Wesley will overshadow the outlaws); however, The Temple of Gold has already been lost from neglect from the reading public in general and literary snobs who refuse to believe that the author of Marathon Man (a secret favorite of dentists everywhere) could write something that deserves their attention. It's a shame on both counts. This coming-of-age novel is usually only referred to as Goldman's first book without any acknowledgement on how well written it is. When it was published in 1957, some critics mentioned the book in the same league as Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye; and personally I agree. It is a story of an unfocused character confronted with the devestsating consequences of his reckless actions. To say anymore would spoil the book for its reader. Highly recommended.

Excerpt:

My father was a stuffy man.

That is not meant as criticism but rather to be the truth. It is the word that best fit him. Stuffy. He always wore dark suits and ugly ties, and was forever pursing his lips and wrinkling up his forehead before he said anything. “Is that you?” my mother would call when he came home. Then he’d purse his lips and there would go his forehead and after a while he’d say: “Yes, my dear.” He always called her that—“my dear”; never her real name, which was Katherine. And I was always Raymond.

It’s easiest to begin with my father rather than my mother or Grandmother Rae for the simple reason that I knew less about him than the others. We lived side by side in the same house for many years, but I never really got to know him. That again isn’t meant to be criticism; it was just the way things worked out.